


Heal The Pain

by tea_and_oranges



Category: Ballum, EastEnders (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-06
Updated: 2020-09-06
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:07:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 25,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25322857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tea_and_oranges/pseuds/tea_and_oranges
Summary: Ever since EE went off air I've had a few scenarios in my head about how Ballum's story might have progressed if Covid19 had never happened and EE hadn't had to stop filming, so I decided to try and string it all together into some sort of story.The first chapter picks up about a week after where we left the boys on screen (apologies for the timeline being a bit hazy in relation to events on screen. I'm useless at remembering dates and I really struggled to keep track of EE time vs real time when the show went to two days a week).
Relationships: Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell
Comments: 37
Kudos: 118





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I kinda drifted away from fanfic for a while but this got in my head and apparently the only way to get it out was to start writing it. Not sure how it'll turn out but as I've written the first chapter I thought I might as well post it and see how it goes.

“Can’t you phone in sick?” Ben asked, his voice whiny and childlike, stretching out lazily in bed as he watched Callum get dressed. “Stay here with me instead?”

“No,” Callum replied firmly, reaching into the wardrobe and pulling out a dark blue shirt. “I’ve only been training a couple of weeks, it's not gonna look good if I start skiving off already, is it?”

Ben opened his mouth to speak but then sighed heavily and let his head fall back onto the pillow, throwing his arm over his face to cover his eyes. He mentally chastised himself for being selfish and needy. He'd be the first to admit he would have preferred Callum to have taken literally any other career path but still, he was so proud of Callum, of his hard work and determination to pass his police assessment despite all the setbacks along the way, which Ben guiltily acknowledged were mostly down to him; of the enthusiasm and dedication with which he had thrown himself into his new career. He cast his mind back a few months, to when Callum had stood near enough on that exact same spot, sobbing into Ben’s shoulder as they’d hugged each other tightly on what was supposed to have been Callum’s wedding day. It made Ben’s heart swell with joy and pride to see the scared and broken man Callum had been then transformed into the confident, self-assured man he was now. 

But Callum’s accomplishments had an unintended consequence for Ben of highlighting his own shortcomings. He'd always known he wasn’t good enough for Callum, however much Callum protested to the contrary, however much he’d proved it by standing by Ben over all the events of the past few months. Ben had tried to make himself worthy of Callum, to rein in the darker side of his nature, his tendency towards self- destruction, but he never seemed to manage it for long. And now that failure had been compounded by his hearing loss, with the added limitations and obstacles it placed on Ben’s life and by association, on his and Callum’s relationship. 

Once, back when Callum was deep in the closet and in denial, Ben had lashed out at him in hurt and anger and told him he wasn’t worth the hassle. Now, he felt it was only a matter of time before Callum realised that it was the other way around.

Ben was torn away from his thoughts as he felt the mattress dipping slightly and the warm touch of Callum’s hand on his arm. He uncovered his face and looked up to see Callum sitting next to him on the bed, doing up the buttons on his shirt. 

“I’m sorry,” Callum said, taking care to enunciate slowly and clearly. “I know it’s no fun for you being stuck here on your own all day.”

“No, _I’m_ sorry,” Ben said contritely. “Just cos my life’s on hold doesn’t mean yours should be.”

“It won’t be for much longer. You just need to concentrate on getting better so you can have your operation.”

“I am feeling better,” Ben said in a brighter tone than before. “Well, at least a lot better than I was last week.”

“I know,” Callum smiled at Ben. He’d been just as relieved as Ben himself when his fever and the bleeding in his ear had died down, and the pain had eased substantially enough for Ben to get by with taking paracetamol a couple of times a day. 

“You’re doing really well. But you still need to take it easy,” Callum told him sternly, wagging his finger playfully in Ben’s face.

“Is that an order, Officer Highway?” Ben asked, arching his eyebrow.

“Yes,” Callum replied with a smile. He reached out cupped Ben’s face, stroking his cheek as he spoke. “I know it’s not easy for you right now but things _will_ get better. And whatever happens, I'll be with you every step of the way.”

Ben’s eyes had been focused on reading Callum’s lips but once he’d taken in his words he looked up to meet Callum’s eyes and the tenderness in them, along with the gentle, reassuring touch of Callum’s hand on his face, caused Ben to feel himself welling up. It was overwhelming at times, not just how much he loved Callum but more how much Callum loved him, how Callum made him _feel_ loved. It wasn’t something Ben had felt often in his life and when he had, it had invariably been snatched away from him. He was resigned to the same happening with Callum eventually but it made him all the more determined to cling on to moments like this for as long as he could.  
Ben threw his arms around Callum and buried his face in the crook of his neck, a warm, peaceful glow spreading through him as Callum cocooned him in a tight hug, his large, strong but gentle hands drawing comforting circles over his back. The close physical contact began to arouse another overwhelming urge in Ben. He lifted his head slightly and planted a soft kiss on the side of Callum’s neck, followed by another, then another, growing in intensity each time as he worked his way up towards Callum’s jawline.

“Mmm...” Callum murmured softly. Ben couldn’t hear him but he knew the effect he was having; he could feel Callum’s breath against his face, his accelerating heartbeat pulsing through his chest as he slid his hand under Callum’s shirt. 

“Don’t...I'm gonna be late...” Callum protested weakly. Ben, unable to hear him, undid the remaining buttons on Callum’s shirt as his mouth found Callum’s. He slid his hand onto the back of Callum’s neck and pulled him into a kiss. Callum closed his eyes, his brain made a barely conscious decision to blame lateness on the tube, he shrugged off his shirt and melted into Ben’s kiss, pushing him back down onto the bed. Callum slid Ben’s t-shirt up over his chest and bent his head to encircle Ben’s nipple with his tongue before licking the skin below in a vertical line to form the letter “i".  


Ben had been resistant when Callum had first started using non-verbal communication in this way. He'd felt it drove home his loss, made him miss Callum’s voice even more, but he’d come to embrace it now as an integral part of their lovemaking. It created an extra layer of intimacy between them, strengthening their bond in a way that was uniquely theirs.  
Sometimes they’d throw in words in sign language; some official, other, more graphic ones, of their own invention. Other times, like now, they’d trace the words Ben couldn’t hear onto each other’s bodies with their fingers or tongues.  


Callum shifted slightly, his tongue slowly spelling out the word “want" over Ben’s chest before sliding down to draw a “U" just above his stomach. Ben moaned loudly, thrusting his hips upwards, his fingers tangled in Callum’s hair, as Callum’s mouth continued to work its way down his body. Suddenly Callum became aware of a voice calling out Ben’s name from the living room. His mouth froze on Ben’s skin, a frown forming on his face as the voice grew louder. There was a loud knock on the door and Callum’s head jerked up quickly in panic and horror, just as the door burst open and Stuart entered the room, loudly shouting Ben’s name. 

Ben, oblivious to the noise, took a moment longer to react to the intrusion.  
“Don’t stop...” he groaned at the sudden absence of Callum’s warm mouth on his belly. He opened his eyes and recoiled in horror, pulling the duvet up over his chest when he saw Stuart standing in the doorway, covering his face with his hands.

“Stuart?! What the...” Callum stared at his brother, his face a mixture of annoyance, confusion and embarrassment. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” Stuart bumbled awkwardly. “I didn’t realise you were...I thought you’d have left for training,” he said to Callum.

“What’s he doing in here?” Ben demanded of Callum. “And remind me again why there’s a lock on the outside of this door instead of the inside,” he added with a roll of his eyes.

Callum shrugged apologetically at Ben and turned to his brother.

“What do you want, Stuart?” Callum snapped, picking his shirt up off the floor and pulling it on.

“I’m sorry...I was looking for Ben.” Stuart turned towards Ben and pointed at him. “I need your help.”

Callum and Ben frowned at each other in confusion then turned to Stuart as he launched into an explanation. 

“The brakes are playing up on one the hearses. I managed to get it round to the Arches but Dotty says she’s too busy to look at it until tomorrow but I need it fixed by this afternoon. We've got back to back funerals today and I can’t afford to have a hearse out of action. I'll have to cancel Mr Johnson if it’s not sorted. I’m desperate, Ben, you have to help me!” 

Ben stared blankly at Stuart. He’d been speaking too fast for Ben to catch more than a few scattered words. 

“Sorry.” Stuart held up his hands, acknowledging his thoughtlessness before trying again to communicate with Ben.

“Problem with a HEARSE,” Stuart said slowly, putting a loud emphasis on the word hearse whilst mimicking the action of driving a car slowly. “Brakes not working...BRAKES,” he repeated, stamping his foot frantically on the floor and shaking his head in horror as he lurched forward and slammed his face into his own hand.

“You’ve got a hearse with dodgy brakes?” Ben asked for clarification.

“Yes!” Stuart beamed and gave Ben a thumbs up. “You’ve got it!”

“So what’s it got to do with me?” Ben asked curtly, still resentful of Stuart interrupting what he and Callum had been doing.

“I need you to fix it. _Please_.” Stuart put his hands together in supplication. “Dotty’s TOO BUSY.” Stuart accompanied his words with more charades, jabbing his finger to make dots in the air a few times before raising his hand to his head and pretending to wipe sweat off his brow. Ben glared at Stuart, caught somewhere between feeling patronised and offended but also slightly amused at his ridiculously clumsy attempt to communicate with him. Callum meanwhile concentrated on doing up the buttons on his shirt, silently mortified by the whole situation. 

“Please, Ben,” Stuart pleaded loudly. “I’m desperate. I'll BEG if I have to.” Stuart put his hands together once more in a praying gesture and knelt down on the floor.

“Okay, okay! I'll have a look at it,” Ben huffed, gesturing at Stuart to get up. “There’s only one Highway brother I want to see on his knees in this bedroom and it ain’t you.” 

Ben smirked at Callum, whose face had turned pink at Ben’s words, while Stuart got to his feet.

“Thanks Ben,” Stuart smiled with relief, giving Ben another thumbs up then pointing his finger at him. “You’re a GOOD BLOKE.”

“Yeah, well, I ain’t doing it for free,” Ben warned him. “And there’s an extra charge for same-day emergency repairs.”

“No problem, whatever it takes to get it sorted by this afternoon. I'll leave you to it,” Stuart said quickly, keen to get out of there before Ben changed his mind.

The door closed behind Stuart and Callum reached out to touch Ben’s shoulder. 

“Are you sure you should have agreed to that?” he asked once he had Ben’s attention. “You’re supposed to be resting.”

“I’m bored of resting,” Ben sighed. “It shouldn’t take too long and it’ll give me something to do. And anyway,” he smirked, “you weren’t bothered about me resting earlier.”

“That’s different,” Callum smiled shyly.

“So let’s pick up where we left off,” Ben smiled, licking his lips and reaching for the buttons on Callum’s shirt.

“I can’t. I'll be late,” Callum said regretfully, pushing Ben’s hand away.

“Yeah, well, I guess the moment's gone now,” Ben sighed. 

“Sorry about my brother. He’s got a lousy sense of timing.”

“We need to get our own place,” Ben muttered quietly.

Callum's eyes widened in surprise and a smile began to form on his lips.

“Are you asking me to move in with you?” he asked, adding sign language to his words to make sure there was no misunderstanding.

“Erm...well...I just thought....” Ben mumbled awkwardly. He’d often found himself day-dreaming about him and Callum setting up home together but he hadn’t meant to bring the subject up anytime soon. But somehow he’d said it out loud and now there was no going back. “I mean, we practically live here together anyway. It'd be nice to have a bit more privacy, that’s all.”

“Yeah, it would,” Callum agreed. “And not just for us. I could do without having to listen to Stuart and Rainie through the walls,” he added with a grimace. Ben screwed his face up into a look of sympathy and disgust.

“Luckily that’s not a problem for me anymore. Silver linings, eh?”

They both chuckled then fell silent, looking intently at each other, waiting for the other to speak.

“So,” Callum said finally. “Were you being serious or...?”

“About us getting our own place? I’m up for it if you are,” Ben said, trying his best to sound casual.

“I’m up for it,” Callum nodded seriously.

“Yeah?” Ben’s eyes lit up and his lips broke into a smile of pure happiness. He reached out for Callum’s hand.

“Yeah,” Callum smiled back, linking his fingers with Ben’s and squeezing his hand tightly as their lips met to seal the deal with a lingering kiss.

“We'd better start saving up then,” Callum said when they pulled apart, trying to speak slowly despite his enthusiasm. “I mean, we'll need two bedrooms so Lexi can stay over, that’s not gonna be cheap round here. But if we cut down on takeaways and nights out, I reckon we could have enough by Christmas...”

“Christmas?” Ben frowned. He hadn’t expected to be moving in with Callum so soon, but now that they’d made the decision he was excited and impatient to make it reality.

“Well, I’m not earning much while I’m training and I’m still paying off my overdraft. And with you not at the car lot now...”

Ben sighed and closed his eyes for a moment. His thoughts turned to the bag full of £50 notes hidden amongst the clutter under the bed. There was enough there to cover the best part of a year’s rent. All he needed was to find a landlord who wouldn’t ask any questions about being paid in cash, and an explanation Callum would buy without Ben having to lie, at least not too much.

“Leave it to me. I'll think of something,” Ben smiled at Callum. “Now, you'd better get going. Sooner you finish your training, sooner you get your uniform.” Ben winked mischievously at Callum who rolled his eyes affectionately at him.

“See you later,” Callum said, leaning in to kiss Ben goodbye.

“See ya,” Ben smiled as they pulled apart and Callum walked to the door. “I'll cook tonight.”

“Oh, you don’t have to,” Callum said hastily. Apart from the fact he didn't want Ben overexerting himself, Ben’s culinary skills could best be described as basic and it invariably took longer to clear up the mess in the kitchen than it did to eat the meal.

“I want to,” Ben insisted, in a tone that declared the matter closed. They signed _“I love you"_ to each other and Callum left the room, leaving Ben staring pensively up at the ceiling.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This follows on directly from the end of chapter 1; it was originally supposed to be posted as one chapter but I decided to rewrite this bit at the last minute.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading and/or leaving comments/kudos. I was so nervous about posting this as I haven't written anything for so long, so it means the world to me if people enjoy it ❤

After enjoying a full breakfast in the cafe, Ben made his way to the Arches. The hearse was sitting outside alongside two other cars. Inside the garage, Dotty was sitting in Gray’s car, scrolling through her phone. She looked up sharply when Ben slammed his hand down on the bonnet. 

“Oh...I was just...texting Gray to let him know his car will be ready soon.”

“Well, get back to work,” Ben said sternly. He hadn’t quite caught what Dotty had said but he figured his response would cover it.

Ben wandered over to the desk, had a look through the paperwork scattered on top of it then picked up the keys to the hearse and made his way outside.

About half an hour later, Ben felt a light tap on his shoulder. He looked up to see Dotty standing behind him.

“I’ve finished with Gray’s car. I’m just going to drop it round to him.”

“Hold on,” Ben said as she turned to leave. “What’s up with them two?” he asked, pointing at the two cars sitting outside the Arches.

Dotty got out her phone and started scrolling through it. She showed Ben the screen where she’d written the details of the repairs. Ben nodded then handed the phone back.

“Why is this on your phone and not written in the job book?”

“Who writes stuff down on paper these days?” Dotty scoffed. 

“You do, if you want to work here,” Ben told her. 

“You’re the boss,” Dotty shrugged. “Is it okay if I take my lunch break after I’ve dropped this off?”

“Yeah, fine. You can do the Honda when you get back. I'll deal with the Volvo when I've finished this,” Ben said, before turning his attention back to the brakes on the hearse. 

Ben sat down at the desk and sent Stuart a text telling him the hearse was fixed and ready to collect and asking him to stop by the cafe on his way and bring him a bacon roll and a coffee. He sorted the mess of paperwork on the desk then looked through the accounts. The Arches was barely breaking even. Ben screwed his face up in annoyance. He should never have handed the running of the place over to Shirley. The Arches wasn’t Phil’s, of course it was going to be bottom of her list of priorities. It was unsustainable to run the business with just one part-time employee, particularly one who was clearly doing as many jobs cash in hand, and into her own pocket, as she was putting through the books. 

Ben leaned back in his chair and looked around the garage. He’d had big plans for this place once but somehow he'd never got to turn them into reality. Phil, of course, had scoffed at his ideas to go upmarket and Ben had been too scared of failing, and proving his father right, to find the confidence to try. Even so, Ben had enjoyed running the Arches back then, working together with Jay. It may have only been a backstreet garage but it had been _his_ backstreet garage. It still was. It also still had the potential to be a lucrative business, it just needed to be managed properly. And, the realisation suddenly clicked in his head, it was the perfect cover to use the money from the warehouse to pay the rent on a flat for him and Callum. Ben tossed the keys to the hearse up in the air, grinning to himself as he caught them in his hand, then switched on the computer.

An hour or so later, after going through the client list and emailing out service reminders whilst making light work of the bacon roll and coffee that Stuart had obediently brought him, Ben was kneeling on the floor fitting a new headlight on the Volvo that had been parked outside. Dotty had gone home after fixing the Honda. Ben felt his phone vibrate and pulled it out of his pocket. It was a text from Callum. 

_“On my way home. Hope you've got dinner on. I’m starving! X”_

Ben slapped his hand against his forehead. He’d completely forgotten he'd promised to cook tonight. He thought for a moment before typing out a reply.

_“Babe, I’m sorry. Still at the Arches. Order takeaway instead, I'll be home in 20 mins X"_

Ben turned his attention back to the Volvo, anxiously waiting for Callum to text him back as he worked. It was only dinner, no big deal really, but Ben was strongly aware that he’d let Callum down yet again. Suddenly a shaft of light fell upon the Arches as the door opened, and Ben looked up to see Callum standing in the doorway.

“Hey,” Ben smiled softly. “I’m sorry about dinner. I got involved here and lost track of time.”

“It’s fine. But I thought you said it was just a quick job, the hearse?” Callum asked. 

“It was. But then I decided it was time to start rebuilding my empire.”

“What do you mean?”

“We need money and this place is a little goldmine,” Ben explained. “It just needs whipping back into shape. Trust me, we'll have a place of our own sooner than you think.”

“Yeah?” Callum beamed excitedly. 

“Yeah,” Ben nodded, smiling as he leaned in to kiss Callum. “Anyway, I’m nearly finished with this. Help yourself to a beer,” he added, pointing towards the fridge.

Callum stood leaning on the desk, sipping his beer as he watched Ben work. Callum was mesmerised as he observed his boyfriend kneeling on the floor, his brow furrowed in concentration whilst his fingers expertly fitted the new headlight. The grey overalls seemed designed to hug Ben in all the right places. He had his sleeves rolled up to expose his arms, glistening with grease and sweat. Callum took a gulp of beer as his mouth went dry and he felt a wave of desire stirring inside him. 

“All done!” Ben announced suddenly, shaking Callum out of his trance. Ben got to his feet and took out his phone. He texted the owner of the Volvo to let her know she could pick it up first thing tomorrow, then turned to face Callum.

“I'll just get out of these,” he said, pointing at his overalls. “Then we can order that takeaway. Are you alright?” he added when Callum didn’t respond.

Callum nodded almost imperceptibly, his mouth hanging open at the sight of Ben, his hair messy and damp with sweat, smudges of grease on his cheek and neck. He placed his beer bottle on the desk then reached out and grabbed Ben’s wrist, pulling him towards him. Ben was momentarily startled but he instantly recognised the look on Callum’s face and he grinned mischievously as the realisation dawned on him. 

“Turns you on, does it, the grease monkey look?” 

Callum’s response was to bring his mouth down on Ben’s, kissing him hungrily, breathing in the strangely intoxicating scent of engine grease mixed with sweat. Ben gasped as Callum pressed against him, pushing him down onto the bonnet of the Volvo. Ben wrapped his arms around Callum’s back, pulling him deeper into the kiss, sliding his hands under Callum's shirt as Callum tore open the fastenings on Ben’s overalls.

“Callum...” Ben gasped as he broke the kiss. “The door...”

“What? Oh!” Callum let out a small sigh of frustration. “Don’t move,” he said, reluctantly pulling away from Ben.

“As if,” Ben murmured as he watched Callum rush to the door and lock it closed before quickly returning to him. Callum stood in front of Ben, spellbound by the vision of him sprawled out on the car bonnet, his lips swollen from the intensity of their kissing, his arousal evident through the taut fabric of the overalls over his groin. 

“You’re gorgeous...and sexy...” Callum signed, his eyes dark with desire. 

Ben whimpered softly and bit his bottom lip. Even now, months after they’d first got together, he still got a thrill out of knowing that Callum wanted him as much as he wanted Callum; that the spark between them was still strong enough to burst into flames in the blink of an eye; that Callum would indeed, to use his own words, “still do him in a heartbeat”. 

“Come here,” Ben signed in reply, hooking his legs around Callum’s waist to pull him down on top of him. Callum cupped Ben’s face in his hands, kissing him deeply, their bodies grinding against each other as the Volvo creaked under their weight. Callum pulled back slightly to slide his hand down Ben’s chest and inside the bottom half of his overalls. Ben moaned loudly at the touch of his boyfriend’s hand and he shifted forward to unfasten Callum’s belt and pull down his jeans and boxers so he could reciprocate Callum’s actions. They were driven by pure lust, rough and frenzied and desperate; moaning against each other’s skin as they rapidly came to a climax so intense that Callum’s knees buckled underneath him and he slumped forward onto Ben, who caught him and pulled him close, locking them both together, breathless and shaking, in a hot, sweaty, gratified embrace.

“So how come you never told me you’ve got a thing for men in dirty overalls?” Ben smirked as they got dressed afterwards.

“I didn’t know it myself until now,” Callum replied with a shy grin. 

“Well, I'll be here same time tomorrow if you want to make up for lost time.”

Callum smiled and walked over to Ben, placing his hand on his cheek. 

“Are you sure you can handle it? This place, I mean. I know you’re feeling better but if you start taking on too much...Maybe you should wait until after your operation. I mean, I want us to get our own place as quickly as possible but not if it’s going to affect your health.”

“Callum, I’m fine,” Ben assured him. 

“You look tired,” Callum said with concern.

“I am a bit,” Ben admitted. “But who wouldn’t be, after _that_?” he added, nodding towards the Volvo.

Callum smiled and shook his head.

“I’m just concerned about you, that’s all.”

“I know, and I love you for it,” Ben tugged on Callum’s jacket, pulling him in for a soft, light kiss. “But today’s been the first day in ages that I’ve felt...normal. I know it sounds stupid but...” Ben's voice trailed off and he shrugged his shoulders, unsure of what he was trying to say.

“No, it’s not stupid. I get it. Come here.” Callum pulled Ben into a hug, kissing the top of Ben’s head as it rested on Callum’s shoulder. 

The silence was broken by the sound of Ben’s stomach rumbling. He pulled away from Callum, both of them giggling as Ben pulled out his phone and handed it to Callum.

“You get that takeaway ordered, I just need to lock up in here.”

“What are we having?” Callum asked.

“You choose,” Ben replied, walking over to lock the drawers on the desk. 

Callum smiled to himself and ordered Ben’s favourite, Chinese with extra pork balls. He waited while Ben switched off the lights and locked the door and the two of them headed home; Callum’s arm around Ben’s shoulders, Ben’s arm around Callum’s waist, leaning into each other as they walked in contented silence.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who's taken the time to read/comment/leave kudos. I truly appreciate it so much ❤

~~~Two days later~~~

Ben closed his laptop, smiling to himself with the air of a man whose plans were starting to come together. He and Callum had spent the previous evening looking through letting agent websites in search of a suitable flat to rent. Of course Ben’s plans didn’t involve going though any official channels but he couldn’t admit that to Callum so he’d humoured him and gone along with it. They had dismissed most of the properties on offer as too small, too far away from the Square, too expensive or in one particular case, too pink. However, they had come across three flats that appeared to fit their requirements and Callum had emailed the letting agents expressing their interest. One of the flats on their list of possibilities had looked familiar to Ben, he was sure he’d been there before but he couldn’t remember when or with whom. The answer had randomly popped into his head whilst brushing his teeth before bed that night. A guy he’d hooked up with a couple of years ago, shortly before he'd left for France...He’d given Ben his business card the morning after, hoping to see him again. Ben had tossed it in a bin after leaving the flat but he remembered the surname on the card had been Grant, it had stuck in his mind due to his uncle Grant. He now racked his brain trying to recall the guy’s first name. Rob? Ray? Rick! That was it! Ben had finished brushing his teeth and joined Callum in bed, snuggling up to him contentedly, the cogs in his brain whirring away as they both fell asleep.

As soon as Callum left for his training that morning, Ben had got out his laptop and trawled through social media until he found Rick Grant’s profile. After a few messages back and forth, Ben had discovered that Rick had got married in the intervening time since their hook-up and his husband’s job had been relocated to Manchester, hence the flat being put up for rent. Ben had persuaded Rick that it made sense to save himself the letting agent’s fees by dealing with Ben directly and in cash, and had arranged a viewing for later that afternoon. Ben got out his phone to text Callum but thought better of it, deciding instead to explain in person when he got back from training. He downed the remainder of his coffee and made his way to the Arches.

“Hey,” Callum smiled, dropping his bag on the chair and sitting down on the sofa next to Ben, who was watching tv with his feet up on the coffee table. Ben turned and greeted him with a warm kiss.

“How was your day?” Callum asked, signing his words as he spoke.

“Good,” Ben smiled enigmatically. “You?”

“Yeah, not bad. I’m knackered though,” Callum replied, kicking off his shoes and resting his head against the back of the sofa.

“Well, don’t get too comfortable,” Ben warned him. “We’ve got an appointment to look at that flat in George Street.”

“What?” Callum frowned. “I didn’t know the letting agent had got back to us?”

“They haven’t. I decided to take a more direct approach.”

“What do you mean?”

Ben explained to Callum about the flat, although he left out the part about paying cash. Callum's reaction wasn’t as enthusiastic as Ben had hoped so Ben reached out and took his hand.

“Look, I understand if you feel weird about it,” Ben said. “But it was just a hook-up and it was ages ago. The flat's perfect for us and it’s a good deal on the rent. ”

“So what’s in it for him then, this Rick bloke?” Callum asked dubiously.

“He gets to save himself the agency fees and he gets tenants that he can trust to pay the rent on time and not wreck the place. We won’t even be dealing with him anyway, he’s in Manchester, with his husband. His brother’s handling it all.”

Callum nodded thoughtfully as he weighed up Ben’s suggestion, before turning to him with a tentative smile.

“Well...I suppose it’s no different to you being here, sleeping in Whitney’s old bed.”

“Exactly. Apart from the fact me and Rick were never engaged, of course.”

“Okay,” Callum said decisively. “You’re right, that flat looks perfect for us. What time’s the viewing?”

“About 15 minutes,” Ben said, glancing at his watch. 

“We'd better make a move then,” Callum smiled, reaching down for his shoes.

“I still can’t believe it!” Callum said for what seemed like the hundredth time, smiling broadly as he and Ben strolled hand in hand back down George Street. “You and me, getting our own place.”

They'd decided to take the flat within minutes of stepping through the door. It was indeed perfect for them, a similar size and layout to the funeral parlour flat but thankfully not a hint of pink in the decor. Rick’s brother, Steve, had told them there were a few minor repairs that needed to be carried out but it would be ready for them to move in within a couple of weeks. Ben had handed over an envelope with a month's deposit in £50 notes (“Customer paid me in cash, saves me taking it to the bank,” he’d explained casually) and he and Callum had shaken hands on the deal with Steve, who had promised to call them once the flat was ready for them to move in. 

Callum stopped suddenly as they walked along and Ben looked up at him.

“You okay? Not changed your mind already, have you?” Ben asked with a nervous laugh.

“No, of course not,” Callum smiled. “But I was just thinking...can we keep it to ourselves until we’ve told Stuart? I don’t want him finding out from someone else.”

“Yeah, sure. We’ll tell him tonight.”

“He’s out tonight. Him and Rainie are going for a meal at that posh hotel off the high street.”

“Oh yeah? I thought they were skint?”

“They are.” 

Callum laughed and gave a little shake of his head before continuing. 

“They’ve got this scam going. They’ve been contacting all the hotels and restaurants in the area, offering them a deal with Coker's to host the wakes, but only after they’ve sampled the food to _make sure it meets the high standards required for our clientele._ ” Callum spoke the last part of his sentence in a fake posh voice, flicking his finger against his nose so Ben could pick up on his tone. “So they get a meal for free or half price then say the food wasn’t up to scratch so they’ll have to take Coker's business elsewhere. I don’t know how they get away with it.” 

Ben gazed at Callum in adoration as he spoke, too overwhelmed with happiness to take in much of what he’d said, apart from the fact that Stuart and Rainie were going out for a posh meal. He leaned in for a kiss, realising as they pulled apart that they were standing outside McClunkey’s. 

“Speaking of dinner...I’m starving,” Ben said, not waiting for a reply from Callum before pushing the door open. Once they’d sat down at a window table with their food, Callum started talking animatedly. 

“We'll have to decorate the spare room for Lexi. What colours do you think she’d like? That hardware place in the high street has got a special offer on paint; we could go down there tomorrow. And we’ll need to redecorate the main bedroom as well cos the wallpaper’s a bit dodgy.”

“Did you say decorating?” Ben grimaced. “Sounds like a lot of hard work to me. I'll see if I can find a painter and decorator online.”

“That won’t come cheap though, will it? No point wasting money on something we can do ourselves. Besides, it’ll be fun.”

“Fun?” Ben retorted, before his mouth curled into a knowing smirk. “Hold on, this wouldn’t have anything to do with your overalls fetish, would it?”

“No! Well...maybe...” Callum admitted with a coy smile. Ben let out a filthy laugh and leaned over the table to kiss his boyfriend. 

“I love you,” he said with a besotted smile. 

“Love you too,” Callum smiled back. They both turned their attention back to their food, eating in companiable silence, when suddenly Ben lowered his head, propping his arm up to shield the view of himself through the window.

“What’s up?” Callum asked, puzzled.

“Frankie,” Ben muttered, rolling his eyes. Callum looked up to see Frankie across the street and waved animatedly at her through the window. Frankie waved back and started walking towards McClunkey’s.

“What'd you do that for?” Ben sighed in exasperation.

“Why not? I thought you got on with her?”

“She’s alright,” Ben conceded. “She can just be a bit too...full on. She texted me earlier, wants me to help her with something.”

“What?” 

“She didn’t say, just told me to meet her at the tube at 6.30.” 

“Sounds mysterious...”

“Yeah, well, I told her I don’t do surprises so she can get someone else to help her with whatever it is.”

“Well, now's your chance to find out,” Callum said as Frankie walked through the door and sat down at their table with a cheery “hi guys".

“Eat up,” Frankie told Ben, helping herself to one of his chips. “I don’t want to be late. You don’t mind if I borrow your boyfriend for a couple of hours, do you?” she asked Callum.

“Depends what for,” Callum replied with a bemused smile. 

“I am here, y’know” Ben muttered grumpily. “And I ain’t going nowhere until you tell me what this is all about.”

“Pub quiz,” Frankie said. “Remember I told you about the team, from the deafness support group?”

“Did you just say “pub quiz"?” Ben asked with a disdainful shake of his head. “No chance.”

“Please, Ben. It’s just for tonight. Lucy’s kid is sick so we're a member short and I can’t find anyone else at such short notice.”

Ben ignored Frankie’s pleading, not bothering to look at her lips or hands as she spoke as he continued to eat his food. He looked up when he felt Callum touch his arm.

“You should go,” he said encouragingly. “You never know, you might enjoy it.”

“It’s not my thing,” Ben said dismissively. “I'd be useless anyway. You stand a better chance of winning without me.”

“It’s not about winning. It’s just for fun,” Frankie said.

“Yeah? Well it’s not my idea of fun.”

“Don’t knock it til you’ve tried it,” Frankie said.

“That’s what I told myself about sleeping with girls,” Ben said drily before sighing with relief as he spotted Jay walking through the door of McClunkey’s.

“Jay! Over here, bruv!” Ben called out to him.

“Alright?” Jay smiled at the trio of Ben, Callum and Frankie as he joined the table. 

“No, I’m not alright,” Ben huffed. “These two are trying to press gang me into joining some stupid pub quiz team.” 

“You? Doing a pub quiz?” Jay snorted with laughter. “They must be desperate,” he said.

“We are!” Frankie laughed. “I’m Frankie, by the way,” she added smiling at Jay and stretching out her hand. 

“Jay,” Jay returned the smile as he shook Frankie’s hand. “I take it you've just met Ben, if you think he’d be any use in a pub quiz.”

Ben couldn’t make out Jay’s words but he could tell by the way he rolled his eyes that he was bantering with him.

“Are you calling me thick?” Ben said indignantly. “I always beat you at Trivial Pursuit at Christmas.”

“Er...no, you don’t,” Jay replied defensively.

“Okay, well if you’re so smart, you do the stupid quiz then. There you go, sorted,” Ben said to Frankie. 

Frankie looked at Jay and shook her head.

“It’s a deaf people’s team,” she said, rolling her eyes at Ben. “Hence the team name. The Deafinitely Maybes.” Frankie put her hand to her ear making the sign for deafness. “ _Deaf_ -initely. D'you get it? Jonny, the team captain, he’s a big Oasis fan.”

Jay and Callum chuckled politely, while Ben groaned and buried his face in his hands. He looked up a few moments later to see Callum, Jay and Frankie all looking expectantly at him. 

“Go on, bruv,” Jay said. “You’ve gotta help a damsel in distress.”

“Hello?” Ben glared at Jay. “You’re supposed to be helping me get out of it.”

“Who are you calling a damsel in distress?” Frankie asked, frowning at Jay.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you,” Jay said apologetically as he cringed inwardly. “That sounded really patronising, didn’t it? I am really sorry.”

“It’s fine,” Frankie shrugged. “I’m used to being patronised. Apology accepted,” she added with a dry smile.

“So, this quiz thing...” Callum said in an attempt to break the tension. “You should go. I’m not going to be much company tonight, I’ve got a pile of textbooks to get through.”

“See, you'd be helping us both out,” Frankie insisted. 

“Okay, fine, I’ll do it,” Ben said with a heavy sigh, raising his hands in surrender. “But it’s just a one-off and you’re paying for the drinks,” he told Frankie. 

“Deal!” Frankie replied, winking at Callum and Jay. “Come on,” she said to Ben, gesturing for him to get up before he had a chance to change his mind. Ben heaved himself out of his chair, leaned over to kiss Callum goodbye, shook his fist playfully at Jay and followed Frankie out of McClunkey’s.

The setting sun bathed the streets of Walford in a hazy pink and orange glow as Ben emerged from the tube station. It filled him with a sense of warmth and comfort and hope. Loathe as he was to admit, he’d actually found himself enjoying the quiz night. Well, maybe “enjoying" was a stretch, he had no plans to repeat the experience, but it hadn’t been altogether unpleasant. He’d felt awkward and self-conscious at first but the other team members had been welcoming and friendly towards him without being overbearing, making sure to include him in their conversations but not trying to force him to go beyond the brief, guarded responses he gave, wary as always to give too much of himself away in front of strangers. None of them appeared to have anything in common beyond their varying degrees of hearing loss but it was that one strand of commonality that, ironically, rather than emphasising Ben’s deafness, allowed him a certain respite from it. There was no need to explain his need to be spoken to clearly, no impatient sighs or pitying looks when he failed to fully grasp what had been said, no patronising raising of voices or ridiculously exaggerated hand gestures. Here his deafness was normal to others, not a burden that people had to make an effort to adapt to. 

The Deafinitely Maybes had finished the quiz in third place out of ten teams, their best result in weeks apparently, thanks in no small part to Ben providing the correct answer to a question about musicals and another about Formula 1. He’d stayed for a quick celebratory drink afterwards before making his excuses and heading home, eager to get back to Callum and their plans for their new flat. For the first time since the boat crash, Ben felt that his life was moving forward again. 

The flat was silent and in darkness when Ben returned. He remembered Callum mentioning that Stuart and Rainie were going out that evening but he’d expected Callum to be sitting at the table, head buried in his police textbooks. Ben noticed the thin sliver of light under the bedroom door and guessed that Callum had decided on an early night. He quietly entered the bedroom to find Callum sitting on the bed, his knees drawn up against his chest, his eyes staring at the wall. 

“Your boyfriend is a pub quiz genius,” Ben announced smugly, bending his head to kiss Callum.  
“You alright?” he frowned when Callum didn’t respond to either his words or his kiss. Before Callum could answer, Ben spotted Callum’s textbooks laying unopened on the bed next to him.

“Need some help with your homework?” Ben teased. “I think we’re out of bananas though, so we'll have to improvise with something else.”

Callum turned to look Ben, whose cheerful demeanour evaporated at the sight of Callum’s unsmiling face. 

“What’s wrong?” Ben asked fearfully.

“I couldn’t concentrate,” Callum said slowly, gesturing at his books. “I was too excited thinking about us moving in together. So I thought I’d make a start on the packing, clear out the junk under the bed...”

Ben felt his stomach drop as Callum reached under the bed and pulled out the bag of cash. He dropped it on the bed, his eyes piercing Ben’s with a questioning glare.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, huge thanks to everyone who's taken the time to read/conment/leave kudos ❤

Ben’s eyes darted nervously from Callum to the bag of cash on the bed then down to the floor, avoiding Callum’s gaze.

“It's...it’s not mine,” Ben said, panic instinctively forcing him into lying.

“Well it ain’t mine either, so what’s it doing under our bed?”

“I don’t know. Maybe...maybe it’s Stuart and Rainie’s.” Ben said the first thing that came into his head. “Didn’t you say they’d gone out for a posh meal thanks to some scam they’ve got going on?”

“Yeah, maybe it’s Stuart and Rainie’s.” Callum rolled his eyes. “Or maybe the tooth fairy dropped it off for Lexi after she complained that a pound a tooth was too stingy. Don’t lie to me, Ben!”

Ben flinched at Callum’s tone. He didn’t need to be able to fully hear him to know how angry and upset he was.

“Alright, alright,” Ben sighed. “It’s my dad’s, okay?”  


“Your dad’s.” Callum sighed heavily, shaking his head. He’d guessed Phil would have been involved somehow.

“Yeah, he asked me to look after it for him.”

Callum eyed Ben suspiciously.

“It’s from that warehouse, innit?”

“No!” Ben replied a little too quickly. “I told you, that was nothing to do with him or me.”

“So where’s it from then? Cos it ain’t exactly legit, is it?”

“You don’t know that.”

“Come off it, Ben! There’s about 15 grand there, in brand new fifties. He didn’t just find it down the back of the sofa, did he? And if it’s legit, why have you got to look after it? Why can’t he keep it at his or put in the bank?”

“Questions questions...you’re really getting the hang of this police thing, aren’t you?” Ben tried to deflect the situation with an attempt at humour but Callum was having none of it.

“Save your wisecracks, Ben. This is serious. I could get kicked out of the force before I’ve even started if this gets found out.”

“Who’s gonna find out?”

“Well, your dad's obviously worried someone’s going to come looking for it at his, so if they don’t find it there who's to say they won’t come looking here? Or is that the plan? You never wanted me to join the police; is this your way of setting me up to get kicked out?”

“What? You think I’d try and stitch you up?” Ben frowned, struggling to keep up with what Callum was saying. “I wouldn’t do that to you, you know that!” 

“Wouldn’t you? If your dad told you to?”

“No! Callum, listen, I...” 

But Callum was in no mood to listen. He pushed past Ben and out of the bedroom; his lips moved but Ben couldn’t read what he’d said.

“Callum!” Ben called out, following Callum out of the bedroom. “Where are you going?!” 

Callum turned at the top of the stairs and fixed Ben with a stony glare.

“I want that money gone when I get back,” he said, making sure he was clear enough to give Ben no room for misunderstanding, then he made his way down the stairs and slammed the door behind him.

~

Ben walked over to the safe in the Arches and pulled the bag of cash out from inside his jacket. He berated himself inwardly for not moving it out of the flat sooner but his mind had been so fogged by fever, pain, and worry over his hearing loss in the aftermath of the warehouse job that he’d all but forgotten about the money until he and Callum had had the conversation about getting their own place. After all, it wasn’t as if the money had been his motivation for doing the warehouse job. He’d done it for his dad, to prove to him, and to himself, that he could. He’d hoped that by getting Phil what he wanted, the funds to buy the Vic, it would wipe away all his other failures in his dad’s eyes; but somehow it hadn’t turned out that way.  
Yes, the job had been a success on the face of it but Ben hadn’t felt the sense of validation he’d expected. Phil had barely acknowledged the fact that Ben had been right not to trust Danny, that Ben had essentially saved Phil’s skin as well as getting him the money. He hadn’t even thanked him, just handed him a few bundles of cash and sent him on his way with a warning to lie low. In the days that had followed, Ben had been too overwhelmed by the pain in his ear, too worried about his increased hearing loss, to think about anything else; but now he felt a bitter regret about ever getting involved in the warehouse job. He’d risked everything and what did he have to show for it? A burst eardrum and the subsequent delay to his operation; another web of lies he’d had to spin to Callum; and with Phil’s plans to buy the Vic having been thwarted by Ian and Sharon, any hopes he’d had that his dad might belatedly show some recognition or appreciation for his efforts had evaporated.  
The last time he’d seen Phil had been over a week ago, when he’d turned up at the flat having just found out about Ian buying the pub and installing Sharon as landlady. Callum had repeatedly had to ask Phil to calm down as he raged about Ian and Sharon humiliating him and vowed to get revenge on them both. Phil had even accused Ben of being in on it, suggesting he must have known what his brother was up to, and questioning Ben’s loyalty. Ben had been visibly upset by this, causing Callum to tell Phil, for the second time that day, to leave.  
The following morning Ben had woken up to a text from Phil, demanding that he prove whose side he was on by finding out the details of Ian’s purchase of the pub: how he’d financed it, whose name it was in, and anything else he could find out. Ben had replied that he’d try before putting the whole thing out of his mind and making sure he avoided Phil ever since.  
Ben stared at the bag of cash in his hand. The only tangible benefit he had obtained from it all was the money and now that was effectively worthless too. There was no way he could use it to pay for the flat, or anything else, without arousing Callum’s suspicions. The whole thing had been for nothing. Ben picked up the bag of cash, stuffed it back inside his jacket, and let himself out of the Arches.

~

Callum sat alone in the Vic, staring down at the table as he sipped his pint. His initial anger at Ben had subsided, incapable as he was of staying angry at him for long, but it had been replaced by a feeling of helplessness and confusion. He didn’t truly believe that Ben would try to sabotage his police career but he wouldn’t put it past Phil. Phil had never been outwardly hostile towards Callum but he knew he wasn’t exactly overjoyed about his son being in a relationship with a policeman, even a trainee one. He knew the extent of Phil’s influence over Ben, the lengths Ben would go to in order to please him. If it came to it and Phil made Ben choose between his father and his boyfriend, Callum couldn’t be completely sure what the outcome would be. 

He was pulled away from his thoughts by Jay and Lola sitting down at the table with him.

“Alright, Callum?” Jay asked as he took a seat. “What are you doing drinking on your own? Ben not back from his quiz night yet?”

“What?” Callum replied distractedly. “Er...yeah, he’s back. I just needed a break, that’s all.”

“What, from Ben?” Lola asked. “Have you two fallen out?”

“No, no, nothing like that,” Callum hurriedly assured her. “It’s just...all the studying I’m having to do for my police training. It's like being back at school and I was never any good at getting my homework done then either.”  
Callum let out a small self-deprecating laugh to which Lola and Jay responded with encouraging platitudes. 

“Aw, you'll be fine.”

“Yeah, mate, you'll smash it.”

“Thanks,” Callum smiled, grateful for their well meaning support. “Anyway, I should get back,” he added, downing the remainder of his pint.

“Okay, see you later,” Lola smiled. “Oh, and can you remind Ben he’s taking Lexi to school tomorrow? I don’t want a repeat of the other week.”

“What do you mean?” Callum frowned.

“When I had to take Lexi round to yours in the morning, cos he slept in when he was meant to be taking her to school? I'll have social services at the door if she’s late again.”

“That was my fault,” Callum said. “I turned his alarm off. I’m sorry. If I'd known he was meant to be taking Lexi to school I would never have done it.”

“It’s not your fault. He should’ve told you. I know it’s not easy for him right now but parenting is a full time job. You can’t just opt out cos you’re having a bad day.”

“Be fair, Lo, it was just the once,” Jay reasoned.

“It wasn’t though, was it? He was supposed to spend the evening with Lexi as well, he promised her he'd put her to bed but he didn’t show up, didn’t even bother to text. Lexi was really upset.”

Callum looked up sharply as Lola’s words made something click in his brain.

“Are you sure it was the same day?” he asked, hoping his tone sounded more casual to Jay and Lola than it did to himself. 

“Yeah, I read him the riot act for letting Lexi down twice in one day.”

“Well, technically Ben read the riot act,” Jay quipped. “You wrote it in a text, well, several actually.”

“You know what I mean,” Lola said, rolling her eyes at Jay before turning to smile at Callum. “Anyway, Lexi’s forgiven him and so have I, so just remind him he better not do it again.” 

“Yeah, sure,” Callum replied with a forced smile. “See you both later.” 

Callum sat down on a bench outside, his mind reeling, desperately trying to put the pieces of the puzzle together in any way other than the obvious one. But no matter how hard he tried, he knew he was kidding himself. 

~

Ben walked into the Mitchell house to find Phil sitting at the kitchen table, his laptop open in front of him. He looked up at Ben impassively and grunted “alright?” by way of a greeting.

“Yeah,” Ben replied, as he pulled the bag of cash out of his jacket and placed it on the table next to Phil. 

“What’s this?” Phil frowned. He looked inside the bag then turned to Ben with a questioning look.

“I don’t want it,” Ben said simply.

“What do you mean, you don’t want it? It’s yours, you earned it.”  
Phil stared at Ben for a moment before getting to his feet.

“Has this got something to do with Callum? Does he know?”

“What?” Ben asked, having only been able to make out the word “Callum" from what Phil had said. Phil sighed and turned to face Ben.

“Does Callum know?” he repeated slowly. “About the warehouse?”

“No, no; of course not,” Ben tried to reassure Phil.

“Then why...?” Phil pointed at the money on the table.

“Because he’s gonna suspect if I start splashing the cash, ain’t he? I don’t want to have to lie to him.”

“You ain’t gotta lie, just tell him it’s none of his business.” 

“It’s not as simple as that,” Ben said quietly.

“Fine,” Phil said. “If you don’t want it...” 

Phil picked up the bag of cash and pulled out a wad of notes. 

“Spending money for Portugal,” he said, stuffing the money into his back pocket.

“You’re going to Portugal? When? Why? Is it cos of Danny?” Ben asked, panic and fear rising inside him.

“Calm down, will ya? There’s nothing to worry about. Danny ain’t stupid enough to show his face round here again.”

“You sure?”

“Yes. It’s just a holiday. I’m going to see Louise and Peggy. I’ve booked a flight for tomorrow afternoon.”

“What’s the rush?”

“I need to get away from here. I’m sick of walking past the Vic every day, knowing that bitch and your weasel of a brother are sitting in there laughing at me, taking me for a mug. Speaking of Ian,” Phil said as he picked up the bag with the cash and bent down to stash it away at the back of the cupboard under the sink. “You found out how he’s paying for it yet?” 

Phil stood up and looked expectantly at Ben who stared blankly back at him. 

“Sorry, did you say something? I couldn’t see your face,” Ben explained apologetically, hating how small it made him feel when Phil looked at him with that mixture of pity and disappointment on his face.

“I said, have you found out how Ian is paying for the Vic?”

“No, not yet.” Ben admitted evasively. “I've...I’ve had a lot on.”

“Like what?” Phil snapped, frustration evident in his voice. “I mean, I’m not asking much. All you’ve got to do is talk to your own brother.”

“He's not going to tell me about his business dealings though, is he?” 

“Well, have a look round his house then. You've still got a key, aint you?”

“Yeah but...” Ben said hesitantly. “Why is it so important to you anyway? He’s got the Vic, why does it matter how he got it?”

“Because I ain’t gonna let him or Sharon get away with it, that’s why!” Phil replied angrily. “I’m gonna kick them both out of the Vic if it’s the last thing I do. I just need to figure out how, and to do that, I need to know everything. You’re the only one who can help me, Ben,” Phil added in a softer, pleading tone. 

“Look, Dad...” Ben began tentatively. “I understand how you feel but maybe it’s time to just let it go...”

“Let it go?!!” Phil yelled at Ben in disbelief. “After everything she’s done to me, I’m supposed to just let her get away with it?! Whose side are you on, eh?”

“I’m on your side, Dad. You know I am.” Ben tried to placate his father. 

“Well it doesn’t look like it from where I’m standing.”

“How can you say that?!” Now it was Ben whose voice rose in anger. “I helped you get the money, didn’t I? And I was right about it being a set-up. If I hadn’t followed you to that warehouse you'd be banged up right now, or worse. And what about Christmas? I chose you over Ian then...I even chose you over Callum! And he nearly died because of it.”

“No, he nearly died because you didn’t do the job properly. And you weren’t choosing me over him when you had a gun to my head on that boat.”

Ben looked away awkwardly, the accusing look in his father’s eyes filling him with that familiar feeling of inadequacy and guilt. He took a deep breath before continuing.

“Listen, Dad, all I’m saying is, where is it all going to end? Dennis is dead, Louise and Peggy are gone, I’m...” Ben pointed to his ear. “I know Sharon hurt you but how many more people have to get hurt because of it?”

“So you’re not going to help me then?”

“I’m sorry, Dad, but I don’t see how this is going to help you. This obsession with Sharon, with getting revenge, it’s not healthy for anyone, especially you. Believe me,” Ben said, recalling the words Callum had said to him a few weeks earlier in this very same kitchen. “You’re not going to make yourself feel better by making everyone else feel worse.”

“Fine. If you won’t help me, I'll find someone who will. You might as well go now.”

Phil sat down at the table and turned his attention back to his laptop. Ben hesitated for a moment, reluctant to leave on that note of dismissal, shut out by his dad yet again. But he knew the only other option was to agree to what Phil had asked and Ben was determined he wasn’t going to get involved. Phil’s seemingly endless quest for revenge had already cost him enough. Ben walked out of the house without a word or a backward glance, quietly closing the door behind him.

~

“Hey,” Ben smiled as he walked into the flat to find Callum sitting on the sofa, drinking from a can of beer.

“Alright?” Callum replied, gesturing with hand for Ben to sit down next to him.

“I’m sorry,” Ben said softly as he sat down. “I shouldn’t have kept that money here, but it’s all sorted now. I’ve given it back to my dad and I’ve told him I won’t be doing nothing like that again.”

“Okay,” Callum nodded quietly. He turned to look at Ben so he could read his lips.

“That money...it didn’t come from that warehouse, right?”

“No,” Ben replied with a hint of impatience. “How many times do I have to tell you? That was nothing to do with me.”

There was a moment of heavy silence before Callum spoke again, his voice weary and tense.

“When are you going to stop lying to me, Ben?”

“I’m not...”

“Yes you are!” Callum interrupted furiously. He slammed his beer can down on the coffee table and stood up, looming over Ben. 

“I know you lied to me about being with Lexi the other week. So was it just a coincidence that warehouse got done over the same night?”

Ben felt the colour drain from his face. He lowered his head, knowing that Callum would see the guilt in his face; and even worse, he would in turn see the hurt and disappointment in Callum’s eyes. Callum stepped forward and lifted Ben’s chin, forcing him to look at him.

“I want the truth, Ben.”

Ben stood up abruptly and walked over to the kitchen. He took a beer from the fridge and downed a large gulp of it, buying time while his mind scrambled frantically to find a way out of the situation. He didn’t want to lie to Callum anymore and it was pointless now anyway, but to admit the truth would be to betray Phil. Despite, or maybe because of, Ben’s resolve to distance himself from Phil’s revenge plans, he still felt the pull of family loyalty that been drummed into him for almost as long as he could remember. 

“Look, I don’t know where you’re getting this from, but I showed you that video of me and Lexi...”

“That could’ve been taken any time. I’m not stupid, Ben! I know you weren’t with Lexi that night and I know you were in on that warehouse job. So stop insulting my intelligence and tell me the truth.”

Ben knew there was no way to talk himself out of this. He looked guiltily up at Callum, his heart sinking at the hurt in his eyes.

“I’m sorry. I am so, so sorry. I hate myself for lying to you. But I couldn’t tell you, could I? For your own good. I was trying to protect you.”

“Oh, here we go again,” Callum sighed with exasperation. “I told you before, I don’t need protecting. What I need is for my boyfriend to be honest with me. Is that really too much to ask?”

“No, of course not. Babe, I'm so sorry. But I had no choice. I thought if you knew it'd make things difficult for you at work. I had no right to put you in that position.”

“Oh, so I’m supposed to be thankful, am I? Like you give a toss about my career?!”

“I do! I know how much it means to you, how hard you’ve worked...” Ben reached out to touch Callum’s arm but Callum shook him off angrily.

“So why get involved with that warehouse in the first place? We ain’t talking a few dodgy motors here, Ben. This is serious money. Not to mention a man was left for dead in that warehouse. You and your dad could be looking at ten years.” 

“You’re...you’re not going to say anything, are you?” Ben looked apprehensively at Callum. “Please, Callum, you can’t. If my dad...”

“Is that all you care about?!” Callum ran his hand over his face, his eyes stinging with tears of anger, pain and frustration. “Making sure I’m not gonna grass?”

“No, I didn’t mean it like that,” Ben protested tearfully. “I just...” Ben reached out again to touch Callum who once again brushed him off.

“Just get out, Ben!” Callum snapped, his voice breaking with despair. “I can’t even bear to look at you right now.”

“Please, babe, I’m sorry,” Ben pleaded desperately, sniffing back his tears. “You’ve got every right to be angry but I...”

“I said get out!!” Callum yelled. He turned his back on Ben and gripped the kitchen counter with both hands in an attempt to stop himself shaking. Ben stood rooted to the spot, his eyes fixed on Callum’s back. He opened his mouth but couldn’t find any words. He decided to do as Callum had said, give him some space and time to cool down, and slowly made his way towards the stairs.

Callum heard Ben’s footsteps descending the stairs, the door closing quietly behind him. A heartwrenching sob escaped from Callum’s throat and he sank to the floor, burying his head in his hands as he broke down in a heaving flood of tears.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is taking so long to update, turns out stringing a few random scenes together wasn't as simple as I thought 🙄 I think I've worked out how this is going to go now so here is chapter 5 and I hope to post the next and final chapter at some point next week 🤞 
> 
> Thank you as always for reading/kudos/comments ❤

Callum sat on a bench in the square, his eyes fixed on the Mitchell house. He’d barely slept the night before, lying restlessly in bed turning everything over in his mind, listening out for Ben’s footsteps on the stairs. He’d finally drifted off for a couple of hours before waking to find Ben hadn’t come home or even texted him. He’d got dressed and headed over to the Mitchell house but stopped before knocking on the door, realising the other residents of the house would likely be around at this early hour. He felt a twinge of resentment at the fact that he was the one seeking out Ben; Ben had been in the wrong, it should be up to him to make the first move, but Callum knew he wouldn’t be able to concentrate on his training, or anything else until he'd spoken to Ben so he swallowed his pride and retreated to the bench to wait for either Ben to appear or everyone else to leave. 

The gate to the Mitchell house opened and Callum stood up sharply. He took a step forward but stopped when he saw Lola followed by Lexi dressed in her school uniform. He remembered Lola telling him that Ben was supposed to be taking Lexi to school this morning. Where was he?  
Right on cue, Callum heard Ben’s voice calling out to Lola and Lexi and he turned to see Ben running towards them. He was wearing the same clothes as the night before and he looked tired and dishevelled. He couldn’t hear their conversation from where he was standing but it was clear from Lola’s hand gestures that she was admonishing Ben for smelling of drink. Callum looked on as Lola walked off in the direction of the salon while Ben and Lexi went inside the house. They reappeared some ten minutes later, with Ben having changed his clothes and tidied up his appearance somewhat. Callum sighed and looked at his watch. He’d be late for training if he waited for Ben to return from taking Lexi to school. He stepped back out of sight until Ben and Lexi had disappeared from view, before making his way to the tube station with a heavy heart. 

~

Ben sat at the desk in the Arches and rubbed his pounding forehead, his hangover exacerbated by the lingering pain in his ear. He took a couple of painkillers out of the packet in the drawer and swallowed them down with a drink of water before getting out his phone. He’d spent the morning typing out texts to Callum then deleting them before pressing send. Callum had thrown him out of the flat, it was up to him to apologise. He sighed and shoved the phone back in his pocket. It vibrated almost immediately and Ben pulled it back out, letting out a sigh of frustration and disappointment when he saw it was a text from Phil. 

_“Come to the house asap. Need to see you before Portugal.”_

Ben tossed the phone onto the desk and held his head in his hands. The last thing he needed was another confrontation with Phil. He felt his stomach grumbling and realised it was just after midday. He locked up the garage and walked round to the cafe where he bought himself a sandwich, a doughnut and a coffee before heading quickly back to the Arches. He felt his heart skip a beat when he saw Callum waiting outside. 

“Aren’t you meant to be at training?” Ben asked casually.

“Lunch break.” Callum replied, his expression unreadable. 

“Oh, I'd have got you something if I'd known you were coming,” Ben said apologetically, gesturing at the food in his hand.

“I’m not hungry.” Callum shrugged as he followed Ben inside the Arches. 

A tense, heavy silence hung in the air between them, broken only by the sound of Ben ripping open the packaging of his sandwich, as each waited for the other to speak. 

“Have you just come here to watch me eat?” Ben asked finally. “Cos if it’s another one of your kinks, it’s a bit of a weird one..."

“Where were you last night?” Callum asked bluntly. 

“Why? You investigating another warehouse job? Well, it wasn’t me this time, Officer; honest.” Ben smirked at Callum and held his hands up in a gesture of innocence.

“Where were you last night, Ben?” Callum repeated, ignoring Ben’s sarcasm. “And don’t bother saying you were at your dad’s cos I saw you this morning, in the same clothes you had on last night.”

Ben stared incredulously at Callum.

“What? You think I went out on the pull?” 

“I don’t know what to think anymore, Ben,” Callum sighed wearily.

“I stayed at Ian’s,” Ben said curtly. “Ask him if you don’t believe me. Or my mum, Bobby, Peter. They were all having breakfast when I woke up on the sofa. _Alone."_ He added the last word pointedly as Callum gazed silently at the floor. 

“You don’t really think I’d cheat on you, do you?” Ben asked, a touch of anger in his voice. “Just cos we had a stupid argument about a bit of dodgy cash.”

“It’s nothing to do with the cash, it’s the fact you lied to my face about it and not just once. You even used your own daughter to make me feel bad about doubting you. So how I am supposed to believe anything you say?”

“Because it’s completely separate,” Ben said exasperatedly. “It’s got nothing to do with you and me, it’s just business.”

“Business?! Armed robbery, leaving a security guard for dead?”

“That was Danny and his gang, nothing to do with me and my dad.”

“Oh, you both just happened to be passing and decided to stay and watch, did you? And the cash just fell into your pocket?”

“It was a set-up,” Ben began to explain. “My dad needed the money to buy the Vic. He was desperate, Callum, he’d never have got involved with Danny otherwise. He told me I wasn’t up to it but I had to help him. I thought if I could just do this one thing for him, it would make up for everything. I thought I could prove...” Ben’s voice trailed off, bitter regret hitting him yet again.  
“I know it was stupid and I wish I’d never got involved now but I couldn’t just abandon my dad. The security guard was already on the floor when I got there and Danny was going to leave my dad to take the rap for it. There was a fight but we managed to get away from them and my dad grabbed the money on the way out. The cash under the bed was my cut.”

“There was a fight?” Callum interrupted as a thought occurred to him. “The blood on your pillow the morning after...”

“It was nothing,” Ben said evasively but the look in Callum’s eyes told him it was useless to deny it.  
“Danny fired a gun next to my head,” Ben admitted. “It burst my eardrum in my good ear.”

Callum looked at Ben with a mixture of horror and concern. He walked over to Ben and stroked his thumb over his ear. 

“I thought your hearing had got worse but I just put it down to you not being well. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because I didn’t want to worry you. And I didn’t want you pitying me either.”

“I don’t...” Callum began to protest but Ben continued talking over him.

“Anyway, it’s no big deal. The doctor said it’ll heal in a few weeks and I'll still be able to have the op.”

“You’ve seen the doctor about it? When? You told me your appointment got cancelled.”

“Jay went with me. I told him not to say anything.”

“Another lie?!” Callum shook his head in disbelief. “And this one ain’t ‘just business', is it?”

“I’m sorry, alright? I just thought you it was easier if you didn’t know.”

“Easier for who?” Callum demanded angrily. "You think it's easy for me when you keep shutting me out?"

“I'm sorry. I..." Ben's voice faltered as he searched for justification. "I thought it was for the best. I mean, it’s not like you’ve never lied to spare someone’s feelings or because it was the easy way out at the time. What about all those months you spent spinning a lie to Whitney? You didn’t lie to hurt her, you thought you were doing the right thing.”

“That’s completely different. Don’t try and turn this on me.”

“Why not? Cos it’s one rule for you and another for everyone else?”

Callum opened his mouth to protest but he found himself speechless. He frowned as he stared at the floor for a moment before lifting his head to face Ben.

“You know what? You’re right. I was lying to her, lying to myself. Even if we had got married it would’ve all fallen apart eventually. Remember when we sat in here on my stag do, what you said about marrying her on a lie?”

Ben nodded silently.

“Well, how is that any different to you and me moving in together on a lie?” 

“Of course it’s different!” 

“No, it’s not, Ben. It’s all built on lies. All that stuff about this place being a goldmine...I mean, did you even really want us to live together or was it just a convenient way to launder that money?”

“Of course I want us to live together! It’s what I want more than anything. And we can still afford it, just about. I meant what I said about building this place up again. We’ll have to cut down on a few luxuries at first and we'll have to make do with a smaller telly than I would’ve wanted but we can make it work.”

“Can we? And what about the next time your dad needs your help?”

“There won’t be a next time. If I could go back and change what happened, I would. But I’ve told you the truth now, I’ve given the money back to my dad, I’ve said I’m sorry a thousand times. What more do you want from me, Callum?” 

Callum shook his head, unable to find an answer to Ben’s question, tears welling in his eyes as he looked helplessly at Ben. 

“I love you,” Ben said in a pleading tone, his own eyes blinking back tears.

“I love you too,” Callum replied, his voice breaking.

“Then that’s all that matters.”

“No, Ben, it’s not,” Callum said sadly, taking a step back away from Ben. “Other things matter too, like honesty and trust. If we haven’t got that, then...”

“Then what?” Ben asked in a fearful whisper.

“I don’t know!” Callum cried out, wiping his tears roughly away with his hand. “I don’t know anything anymore.” 

Callum turned abruptly and walked out of the Arches, tears streaming down his face as the door shut behind him. 

Callum walked back to the tube station in a daze. Less than 24 hours ago he’d been floating on air at the prospect of him and Ben moving in together but now it had all come crashing down around him. Had he over-reacted, he asked himself? Was Ben right, was their love for each other all that mattered? After all, he’d known from the start about the Mitchells’ tendency to operate on the wrong side of law. Didn’t love mean accepting each other completely, good and bad? Maybe he would have to accept that there was a part of Ben’s life that was out of bounds for him. But Callum knew he could never be like Sharon, turning a blind eye in return for love and security. And how could Callum feel secure in his love for Ben when Ben himself appeared to have no regard for his own safety? Could he really spend the rest of his life worrying every time Ben walked out of the door that the next time he’d see him would be in a hospital bed, a prison visiting room...a morgue?

Callum quickened his pace, conscious of the fact he was cutting it fine to get back to training before his lunch break was over. He pulled out his phone to text one of his colleagues and ask him to cover for him, taking his attention off where he was going and causing him to walk straight into Phil, who was stood by the gate to the Mitchell house.

“Watch where you’re going, will ya?” Phil grunted brusquely as Callum mumbled an apology.  
“And tell Ben to come and see me. He’s not answering my texts.”

“Tell him yourself,” Callum snapped, brushing past Phil to continue on his way.

“What’s your problem, eh?” Phil shouted after Callum, then shrugged his shoulders and walked through the gate. Phil entered the kitchen and pushed the door closed behind him but it suddenly swung loudly back open and Phil turned in shock to see Callum standing in the doorway.

“What’s my problem?!” Callum took a step towards Phil, his eyes narrowed in fury. “You really wanna know?! It’s you, Phil. You and the way you treat Ben.”

Phil took a step back, stunned into silence by Callum’s intrusion.

“I mean, do you even care about him at all?!” 

“What?” Phil finally found his voice. “Of course I care about him, he’s my son. What are you...?

“Well, you've got a funny way of showing it,” Callum retorted, cutting Phil off mid-sentence. “You’re supposed to protect him, look out for him, not put him in danger! What if that gun hadn’t just burst his eardrum? What if he'd...?” Callum’s voice trailed off, unable to speak his fear out loud.  
“You knew he wasn’t well, you knew how vulnerable he's been since the boat crash but all you cared about was the money from that warehouse.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Phil said, eyeing Callum suspiciously.

“Don’t play the innocent, Phil. I know all about it. Don’t worry, I ain’t gonna say anything. For Ben’s sake, not yours.”

“Well, whatever you know, or think you know, it’s got nothing to do with you.”

“It’s got everything to do with me when it affects Ben.”

“What are you, his boyfriend or his babysitter?” Phil said scornfully. “Ben’s a grown man, he can make his own choices. And not that it’s any of your business but I told him I didn’t want him involved and he decided to he follow me anyway. It’s not my fault he put himself in danger. So get your facts right before you come into my house making accusations. Typical copper,” Phil huffed scornfully. 

“It’s not your fault?” Callum repeated incredulously. “Why do you think he followed you? Why do you think he couldn’t accept that you took him off the job?” 

Phil opened his mouth but Callum answered his own question before Phil had the opportunity to speak.

“Because you've made him feel so worthless that he’ll do anything to try and please you, to prove to you that he’s worthy of being the great Phil Mitchell’s son. You’re his father, you’re supposed to put him first, love him unconditionally. But you can’t do that, can you? You can’t just love and accept him for who he is.” 

“What are you on about?” Phil snarled, his face a mixture of anger and confusion. “I’ve accepted he’s gay, ain’t I? What do you want me to do, stick one of them rainbow flags on the roof?”

“You just don’t get it, do you?” Callum shook his head, exasperation rising in his voice. “You’ve got no idea what it’s done to him, all those years of you putting him down, letting him know what a disappointment he is to you. You bang on about family but it’s always got to be on your terms. You only care about Ben when you want something from him.”

“You what?! Who do you think you are, eh?” Phil's face reddened with rage. “You’ve only known Ben five minutes but you think you can barge into my house and lecture me about my own son? Get out!”

“Truth hurts, does it, Phil?” Callum said defiantly.

“I said get out! Now!!” Phil yelled.

“Don’t worry, I’m going,” Callum said in a cold, calm voice. “But I’ll tell you something first. It took me twenty eight years to stand up to my dad, to see him for the toxic bully he is and cut him out of my life for good. And one day Ben’s gonna do the same to you and it’ll be your loss, not his. He deserves better than to have you dragging him down.”

Callum stormed out of the Mitchell house without waiting for a reply, letting the door slam loudly behind him, leaving Phil standing in the kitchen, his brow furrowed in shock and anger.

~

Ben felt a tap on his shoulder and spun around sharply from the car he was working on. His face fell when he saw Phil standing in front of him. 

“Dad...sorry I haven’t answered your texts. I’ve been busy,” Ben gestured at the car. 

“It’s alright.” Phil shrugged.

“So what did you want to see me about?” Ben asked cautiously.

“It don’t matter now. Shirley’s gonna do it.”

“Do what?” Ben asked cautiously. “Dad, I know how you feel about Ian and...”

“It’s nothing to do with that,” Phil interrupted. “I needed a package delivering, that’s all.”

“What sort of package?”

“Just a bit of business. You don’t need to know. Like I said, Shirley’s gonna do it now.”

“So why are you here?” Ben frowned.

“I don’t need an excuse to see my own son, do I?” Phil asked gruffly.

“What?” 

“I said, you’re my son,” Phil repeated more clearly. “I came to see how you are. Is that a problem?”

“No, of course not,” Ben said, a small smile forming on his lips. 

Phil looked around the Arches before turning to Ben.

“You managing alright here, then?”

“Yeah, great,” Ben nodded enthusiastically. “I mean, I need Dotty to listen to the engines at the moment but once I have my operation...”

“You got a date for it yet?”

“No, no yet,” Ben admitted. “But it shouldn’t be too long.”

“Good,” Phil gave a small nod before continuing. “Anyway, I was thinking...why don’t you come to Portugal with me?”

“What?” Ben frowned.

“I said, why don’t you come to Portugal...”

“No, I understood what you said; I just meant why do you want me to come with you? Have you heard from Danny?” 

“No, nothing like that. I just thought it might do you good to have a holiday, get away from everything.”

Ben hesitated for a moment then shook his head.

“Nah, I can’t. I mean, thanks for the offer but I’ve got too much going on here. There’s this place and Callum...” Ben’s voice trailed off. 

“Dotty can cope on her own for a couple of weeks, can’t she? And so can Callum. You must be missing Louise and Peggy.”

“Of course I miss them but it’s just not the right time at the moment. Maybe in a few months once I’ve had my operation and Callum can get some time off, we can go over there together...”

Phil rolled his eyes and sighed impatiently.

“He ain’t got a problem with you seeing your family on your own, has he? You don’t have to be joined at the hip all the time. It ain’t healthy.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Ben asked defensively. Whatever problems he and Callum might be having, he wasn’t going to take relationship advice from Phil.

“Nothing. It’s just...I thought he was alright at first but it seems to me he’s a bit of a control freak.”

“What?” Ben let out a laugh of disbelief. “Did you just call Callum a control freak? He’s anything but.”

“I'm just saying how it looks...you spend all your time at his flat and whenever I go there to talk to you, he ends up throwing me out. It’s like he’s trying to cut you off from me, from your family.”

Ben shook his head in disbelief. He hadn’t caught everything Phil had said but he’d understood enough.

“Dad, you’ve got it all wrong. Callum ain’t like that at all. Do you think I'd be with him if he was?”

“Well, you were with that Luke bloke, weren’t you? And look how he turned out.”

“Luke?! You’re not comparing Callum to him?! Dad, you’re being ridiculous now...”

“Alright, alright,” Phil held up his hand to silence Ben. “I’m just looking out for you, that’s all.”

“Thanks,” Ben said uncertainly, wondering what had triggered his father’s concern. “But you don’t need to worry about me.”

“So you’re coming to Portugal then?”

“I don’t know,” Ben sighed. “Like I said, I’ve got a lot on...Besides I don’t even know if it’s safe to fly, with my ear.”

“Well, it’s up to you. I’ve booked a cab for three o'clock,” Phil said, holding up three fingers, before turning on his heels and walking out of the Arches.

Ben sat at the desk staring into space. Maybe his dad was right, maybe getting away from Walford was the best thing he could do right now. He'd messed things up with Callum, as he’d always known he would. Even though Callum hadn’t actually said as much, he felt in his heart it was over. He’d finally driven him away for good. What was the point of hanging around to be reminded of what he’d lost? He understood now how Phil felt, when he’d spoken the night before about walking past the Vic every day.  
Ben’s phone vibrated in his pocket and he pulled it out hopefully, willing it to show a message from Callum, but his hopes were dashed when he saw it was from Louise. He opened the message and saw a photo of baby Peggy smiling at him from the screen, with the caption _“I miss you, uncle Ben.”_

Ben smiled at the picture then let out a heavy sigh. He opened the internet browser on his phone and typed “is it safe to fly with a burst eardrum?" into the search bar.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Narrowly managed to make my self-imposed deadline and finish this before the boys return to our screens tomorrow!
> 
> This final chapter turned out to be much longer than I planned so I've split it into three, the next two will follow shortly.
> 
> Massive thank yous to everyone who has read, liked or commented on this story. I am truly grateful for your support ❤
> 
> The title of this story comes from the George Michael song "Heal The Pain" - the lyrics are so apt for Ben and the way his past experiences, particularly with Phil, make it hard for him to accept Callum's love.

_~~Two days later~~_

“Come on bruv, you've gotta eat something,” Stuart said, placing a plate of toast down on the table in front of Callum.

“I told you I’m not hungry,” Callum sighed, pushing the plate away and continuing to stir his coffee.

“And I told you, you’ve gotta eat. And I’m your big brother, so you'll do as I say,” Stuart insisted, pushing the plate back towards Callum.

Callum sighed and picked up a piece of toast, forcing a small bite down his throat with a sip of coffee. 

“That’s better,” Stuart smiled. “We can’t have you going off to fight crime on an empty stomach. Speaking of which, hadn’t you better get a move on?” 

“I phoned in sick,” Callum said quietly. “I’ve got a headache.”

“Hangover, more like, the state you were in last night,” Stuart pointed out. He looked at his brother with concern.

“You can talk to me, y’know, Callum.”

“About what?”

“About anything...like why Ben’s suddenly not been around and you’re getting so drunk on a school night that you’re missing your training.”

“What, so you can say you told me so and I’m better off without him?”

“No,” Stuart said seriously. “Look, I admit I wasn’t keen on him at first but at the end of the day, I just want you to be happy and even I can see that Ben makes you happy. And I’ve seen the way he looks at you. That bloke worships the ground you walk on, Callum.”

“I think you’re confusing me with his dad,” Callum sighed despondently. “He’s the one who’s got Ben wrapped around his finger.”

“What, Phil doesn’t approve of you being with Ben? He’s got a nerve. Do you want me to have a word with him?” 

“No! That’s the last thing I need.”

“I just want to help, Callum.”

“I know,” Callum smiled gratefully at his brother. “But you can’t; no one can where the Mitchells are concerned. Anyone who gets involved with them is supposed to just smile and keep quiet, according to Sharon.”

“Yeah, well, from what I’ve heard, Sharon’s been married to two Mitchells and it didn’t work out with either of them. So I wouldn’t take much notice of what she says.”

“Fair point,” Callum mumbled, taking a sip of his coffee.

“You and Ben ain’t Phil and Sharon,” Stuart said. “Whatever’s happened, I’m sure you can work it out. Unless of course you've been sleeping with Keanu behind Ben’s back all along.”

“Stuart!!” Callum exclaimed in disgust.

“Joke,” Stuart said, holding his hands up in apology.

“Not funny,” Callum said moodily.

“I’m sorry. I hate seeing you like this.”

“I'll be alright,” Callum shrugged. “Shouldn’t you be getting to work?”

“Yeah, that’s another thing,” Stuart said. “Whatever’s going on with you and Ben, you can’t let it affect your career. So no more sickies, alright? You don’t want to get a reputation for being a skiver.”

“I won’t. They were fine about it and I'm gonna get my head back in them books later, so today won’t be a complete write off.”

“Good,” Stuart said, smiling at Callum as he got to his feet. “I'd better get going, but you call me if you need me, yeah?”

“I will. Thanks, Stu.”

Stuart gave Callum’s shoulder a reassuring squeeze as he walked past, before making his way down the stairs and leaving Callum staring glumly into his coffee. 

Outside the flat, Ben stood with his finger hovering over the buzzer. He’d spent the whole flight back from Portugal rehearsing in his head what he was going to say to Callum but he hadn’t thought about what Callum’s reaction might be. It was only now that it struck him that Callum might not want to listen. Callum had all but told him it was over, that was why he’d gone to Portugal, to avoid the inevitability of having to face Callum spelling it out to him. But the moment the plane left the ground Ben realised he’d made a huge mistake. Looking out of the window at London and England getting smaller and smaller until it disappeared under the clouds, Ben felt as if his heart was being pulled out of his chest, as the plane pulled him further and further away from Callum.

It had been obvious to both Lisa and Louise, if not to Phil, that Ben wasn’t just there for a holiday, that something was deeply wrong. Louise had dragged the truth out of him the same evening they'd arrived, as they sat on the balcony of the villa watching the sun set over the ocean. Ben hadn’t expected much in the way of sympathy or understanding from his spoilt princess of a little sister but to his surprise, Louise had done a lot of growing up in the months since he'd last seen her. She had an air of thoughtfulness and maturity now and she’d listened to Ben with genuine empathy. She knew all too well the toxic depths of Phil and Ben’s relationship and was also well aware of how deep Ben’s feelings for Callum ran, how quickly he unravelled without him. Louise was also one of the few people with whom Ben could talk honestly about Phil, without feeling that he was betraying him.  
As he unburdened himself to Louise, Ben had had something of an epiphany. Louise had compared him to a hamster on a wheel, going round and round in circles trying to please Phil but never getting anywhere. The difference, Louise pointed out, was that unlike the hamster, Ben had the option of getting off the wheel and walking out of the cage. Ben had pondered on this for a few moments as he stared up at the night sky, then got out his phone and booked the next available flight back to London.

Ben hadn’t told Phil he was leaving until the taxi arrived to take him to the airport. He knew that made him a coward but he didn’t care. All he could think about was seeing Callum again and convincing him that what they had was worth trying to keep. But now his determination had turned to self-doubt. What if this was the moment he’d been dreading since he and Callum had first got together? He’d messed up so many times before and Callum had always forgiven him. What if he’d used up all his chances? What if Callum had reached the point where he really didn’t want to do this anymore? Ben ran his hand over his face. He felt exhausted, having barely slept for the last three nights. He decided to get some sleep, maybe a drink or two for Dutch courage, and go see Callum later. 

Ben was about to put his key in the lock of the Mitchell house when the door swung open and he came face to face with Lola and Peter. 

“Alright, Peter?” Ben frowned. “What are you doing here?”

“Just picking up some paperwork for Jay,” Peter said, holding up a paper file. He mumbled a quick “see you later" to Lola and left before Ben could say anything else.

“I thought you were in Portugal?” Lola asked as she and Ben stepped inside the house.

“Well now I’m back,” Ben said, dropping his bag on the floor. “Why? Was I interrupting something?”

“No,” Lola said emphatically. “I told you, me and Peter, it was a one off and a huge mistake.”

“You sure?” Ben asked suspiciously.

“Yes! How many times do I have to tell you?”

“I just don’t want to see Jay get hurt.”

“Neither do I. And he won’t as long as you and Callum both keep your mouths shut, so just drop it, okay?”

“Wait...what?” Ben eyes widened with shock. “Are you saying Callum knows? About you and Peter?”

“Yeah...I....”

“How long has he known?”

“I dunno exactly...a few weeks? Why does it matter?” 

Ben ignored Lola’s question and stormed out of the house. 

Ben marched into the funeral parlour and ran up the stairs two at a time, calling out Callum’s name. As he reached the top, Callum turned round from the mirror, where he’d rushed to run his hands through his hair upon hearing Ben’s voice.

“Ben...” Callum said, smiling softly at Ben. The smile disappeared from his lips as Ben advanced towards him, jabbing his finger in the air at Callum.

“You’re a hypocrite!” Ben yelled angrily. “And a liar. All that stuff about trust, about not keeping secrets! You’re just as bad as me! No, actually, you’re worse cos at least I don’t make out like I’m perfect, but you...”

Callum had been stunned into silence by Ben’s tirade but he finally found his voice.

“What are you going on about?!” Callum shouted back at Ben. “Has all that sun in Portugal gone to your head or something?”

“You knew about Lola cheating on Jay with Peter. You’ve known for weeks and you never said a word to me!”

“What?! Is that what this is all about, Lola and Peter?”

“No, it’s about you keeping it a secret from me. I had a right to know.”

“No, you didn’t,” Callum said defensively. “It wasn’t my secret to tell. It’s nothing to do with me or us. And anyway...”

“Jay’s my brother, he’s supposed to be your mate,” Ben interrupted. “And if him and Lola break up it affects Lexi, and that affects me. So yeah, I did have a right to know. But all that stuff about being truthful, it only works one way, doesn’t it? Or was it just an excuse to dump me? Not much fun having a deaf boyfriend, is it? But you’re too much of a nice guy to dump me over that.”

“What are you talking about?” Callum stared at Ben as if he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “I didn’t dump you. You’re the one who went swanning off to Portugal without even telling me. I came home and your stuff was gone. No note, no text, nothing. I had to find out where you’d gone from Shirley. Have you got any idea what that felt like? Do I really mean so little to you?”

Callum’s voice trembled as he spoke and his eyes filled with tears. He turned away from Ben, running his hand over his face.

“No! You mean everything to me, Callum,” Ben said tearfully. “Everything.”

Callum turned around slowly to face Ben.

“Then why are you so hellbent on destroying what we’ve got?”

“I...” Ben's voice faltered as he looked into Callum’s teary eyes. He tried to speak but the only sound that came out of his mouth was a guttural sob of despair. He wiped his hand across his eyes but his tears fell too hard and fast, streaming down his face as he stumbled backwards and sat down on the sofa, burying his head in his hands as he wept. Ben felt the sofa cushion dip and held his breath between his sobs, not daring to believe, or even hope, that Callum still cared enough to comfort him. Then he felt Callum’s hand on the back of his head, his fingers in his hair as Callum gently pulled him towards him and Ben collapsed against Callum’s chest, throwing his arms around him. Callum held Ben tightly and kissed the top of his head, his own tears falling into Ben’s hair as they clung to each other. It took Ben a moment to realise that Callum was crying too and the jolt of guilt and pain it sent through his body shook him out of his own tears. 

“Oh, babe...don’t cry...please,” Ben said softly, his heart breaking as he reached out and wiped a tear from Callum’s cheek with his thumb. “I’m sorry.”

“I thought I'd lost you, Ben,” Callum sobbed.

“You’re better off without me,” Ben said quietly, lowering his eyes.

“No, I’m not!” Callum cried out tearfully, his sorrow turning to frustration. “What do I have to do to get it through that thick skull of yours? These last few days, I’ve been a mess without you. I love you, Ben.” Callum signed the words as he spoke them but Ben shook his head sadly.

“I love you too,” he said and signed back. “But you said it’s not enough.”

“I was upset, confused...I didn’t mean...And anyway I didn’t say that. I said other things matter too. But if we love each other, we can work on those things, can’t we?”

“I don’t know,” Ben said helplessly. “I mean, I’ve tried before to change, to be better, but I always mess things up and end up letting you down, hurting you...Maybe it’s just the way I am. Maybe I don’t have it in me to be a good person.”

“You are a good person, Ben. I know you’re no angel but that's okay. I like that about you,” Callum said with a coy smile. “But some of the stuff you do...it’s like you don’t think or care about the consequences. Like losing your hearing, it’s...”

“Hold on,” Ben interrupted, frowning at Callum. He was tired and struggling to concentrate on lip-reading. “What do you mean, consequences? Are you saying it’s my own fault I lost my hearing, that it’s what I deserve?”

“No, of course not. I didn’t mean it like that. But why do you put yourself in those kind of situations where you could get hurt or worse? It’s about risk assessment...”

“Risk assessment?” Ben scoffed. “What, I should carry a clipboard around and fill out a form before I do anything dodgy?”

“You know what I mean,” Callum sighed impatiently at Ben’s attempt to deflect the conversation. “You need to think about what you stand to lose before you get involved. What we _both_ stand to lose.” 

“I know. I’m sorry. I wish I’d never got involved in any of it, not just cos of my hearing but lying to you about it all. I’ve been stupid and thoughtless and I wish...I wish I could be the man you want me to be.”

“I don’t want you to be someone else. I want you to be the man you are.” Callum reached out and cupped Ben’s face with his hand. “The man who stood by me last year when I was trying to figure out who I was; the man who gave me the confidence to stand up for myself and go for what I want; the man who makes me truly happy for the first time in my life. That’s who you are to me, Ben. Not Phil Mitchell’s son, not the bloke who lost his hearing in the boat crash, not some wannabe gangster who always gets in over his head. You’re just...you. My Ben.”

A single tear ran down Ben's face, which Callum tenderly wiped away with his thumb, stroking Ben’s cheek and leaning in towards him until their foreheads were touching and their lips were just millimetres apart. The sound of their breathing filled the air as their mouths sought each other, hesitantly at first, lips brushing together in a soft, healing kiss. Ben let out a soft moan which was silenced by Callum’s lips as he kissed him again, sliding his hand around Ben’s neck to pull him closer. Their kisses turned hungry and needy, tongues twisting around each other, desperate and yearning for more. Callum pulled Ben up from the sofa and kissed him again, pressing his body against him and forcing him to take a step backwards. Ben wrapped his arms around Callum’s waist, one hand slipping down to grab Callum’s arse, the other pushing his t-shirt up over his back. They pulled apart briefly for air and Ben took the opportunity to pull Callum’s t-shirt up over his head, letting it fall to the floor as they stumbled towards the bedroom. Callum kicked the door shut behind them and they fell onto the bed, hurriedly discarding their clothes amid moans and sighs of desire, their fingers and tongues craving the touch and taste of each other’s skin. Their bodies moved together in effortless synchronicity, reaffirming the instinctive, unbreakable bond between them, sending them both into loud spasms of joy, ecstasy and relief as they collapsed breathlessly into each other’s arms. 

Afterwards they lay entwined together under the duvet, Ben’s head resting on Callum’s chest as Callum fingers played with Ben’s hair. Ben reached out and traced _“I ♡ u"_ on Callum’s chest, to which Callum smiled softly and traced _“I ♡ u 2”_ down the length of Ben’s arm. 

“Yeah, well, you’ve got terrible taste in music,” Ben smirked.

“And your jokes aren’t half as funny as you think they are,” Callum batted back, smiling as he playfully flicked Ben’s nose with his finger before planting a soft kiss on his lips. 

“Ben, I need to ask you something,” Callum said as they pulled apart.

“Okay,” Ben nodded seriously.

Callum then reached down and retrieved his jeans from the pile of clothes scattered on the floor. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and turned to face Ben.

“Pizza or chinese?” he asked with a grin. 

Half an hour later, Ben and Callum were sat on the sofa, feet up on the coffee table, leaning contentedly into each other, the pizza box balanced on a cushion on their laps. The tv was on as background noise but neither paid it any attention.

“I’ve missed this,” Ben said, helping himself to another slice of pizza.

“Don’t they have pizza in Portugal?” Callum asked wryly.

“You know what I mean,” Ben shoved Callum playfully. “I missed you...us.”

“So why did you leave?” 

“I thought we were over. I thought I’d finally pushed you away for good. Then my dad turned up offering me a free holiday, a chance to see Louise and Peggy again...it seemed like a good idea at the time,” Ben added with a shrug.

“I can understand that,” Callum said softly. “But you could have at least told me. I didn’t know if I was ever going to see you again.”

“I didn’t think you’d care,” Ben said sadly. “Last time I was planning to go to Portugal with my dad, you begged me to stay. I was scared this time you'd tell me to go.”

Callum sighed and shook his head.

“I thought you’d gone cos of what I said to your dad. I thought it was your way of telling me you'd chosen him over me. Not that you should have to choose...”

“Wait, what?” Ben frowned at Callum. “Did you say you spoke to my dad?”

“Yeah, didn’t he tell you?”

“No. When was this?” 

“The other day, after I left the Arches. I know I shouldn’t have but I was so wound up, I just lost it...”

“What did you say to him?”

“Just a few home truths,” Callum said, before filling Ben in on his confrontation with Phil. 

“Wow,” Ben stared wide-eyed at Callum. “I wish I’d been there to see his face. Not many people go full on diva at Phil Mitchell in his own kitchen and live to tell the tale.”

“He’s not that scary,” Callum said with a casual shrug. “And he obviously wasn’t bothered by what I said, if he never mentioned it to you.”

“It did bother him,” Ben said. “Just not in the way you meant it to.”

“How do you mean?”

“Some of the stuff he said when he asked me to go to Portugal with him. That you’re a control freak who wants to keep me away from my family.”

“What?” Callum looked at Ben in horror. “That’s not what I...”

“I know, I know,” Ben assured him quickly. “And I told him as much.”

“If anyone’s a control freak, it’s him,” Callum muttered darkly. “I’m sorry, I know he’s your dad but he’s toxic, Ben.”

“You think I don’t know that? You think I don’t know the reason I’m so messed up is because of him? Well, mostly...I know I don’t help myself a lot of time.”

“I’m not gonna argue with that,” Callum said drily but he squeezed Ben’s shoulder affectionately.

“It’s like I said to you about your dad...I know my dad’s never gonna do or say what I want him to. I know I'm wasting my time trying to please him but there’s still a part of me that can’t let go of that hope that maybe one day...” 

“I know,” Callum said softly. 

“Anyway, I’ve made a decision. I’m not getting involved in his dramas anymore. It ain’t worth the hassle. Whenever I try to help him, I just end up making things worse. For myself, mostly...and you. But that’s all in the past; from now on I’m putting you first.”

“It’s not a competition, Ben. Or it shouldn’t be. I don’t want to come between you and your dad. I know how important family is to you.”

“Yeah, well, family ain’t just about blood, is it? It’s about the people you love, who make you happy; the people who have your back no matter what. And that’s you, Callum.” Ben took Callum’s hand as he continued.  
“We were so happy before Christmas, weren’t we? And then my dad dragged me into all that stuff with Keanu and it all went downhill from there. I’m not saying I’m gonna cut him out of my life but I’m never gonna risk losing you again for him.”  
Ben leaned forward and planted a kiss on Callum’s lips before turning his attention back to the pizza. He took a large bite of it then turned to Callum again.

“Speaking of family...what are we going to do about Jay and Lola?”

Callum sighed thoughtfully for a moment.

“Nothing,” he said finally. “Lola says she loves Jay and I believe her.”

“So we keep it to ourselves and say nothing?”

“Well, what else can we do? Tell Jay and break his heart, rip him and Lola apart over one stupid mistake? And before you say it, yes I know that goes against everything I said about lying and keeping secrets but I guess life’s not always black and white...it’s all about the shades of grey.”

“Shades of grey?” Ben said, raising an eyebrow and smirking at Callum. “You wanna get them handcuffs out again, do ya?”

“No, I didn’t mean...” Callum began but Ben had already tossed he pizza box onto the table and pounced onto Callum’s lap, both of them laughing lustily as Ben pinned Callum down on the sofa and silenced him with a deep, hungry kiss.


	7. Chapter 7

_~~One week later~~_

“What are you up to today then?” Callum asked, pulling on his jacket as Ben cleared up after breakfast in the Mitchell kitchen. They’d spent most of the past week at the Mitchell house, taking advantage of Phil’s absence to spend more time with Lexi. 

“Not a lot. A couple of MOTs then back here to chill in front of the tv until it’s time to pick Lexi up from school.”

“Alright for some,” Callum said drily, leaning in to kiss Ben goodbye. 

“See you later,” Ben smiled, signing _“I love you"_ to Callum, who instantly returned the gesture before leaving the house.

No sooner had the door closed behind Callum, Ben felt his phone vibrate and pulled it out of his pocket. It was a text from Steve letting him know that the flat was ready for him and Callum to move in. Ben stared thoughtfully at his phone. Despite the long heart to hearts he and Callum had had since he’d come back from Portugal, neither of them had mentioned their previous plans to move in together. Ben had no idea whether it was still what Callum wanted but he knew he couldn’t wait all day to find out. He rushed out of the door and called out to Callum, who turned and quickly walked back towards the house.

“You okay?” Callum asked when he reached Ben on the pavement. “What’s happened?” 

Ben simply handed the phone to Callum so he could read the text from Steve.

“So...do you still want to?” Callum asked tentatively.

“Do you?” Ben replied, his voice trembling anxiously.

“I do if you do...”

“Well, I won’t get the deposit back. Seems a shame to throw away that money,” Ben said casually. “But if you’re not okay with it, knowing where it came from...”

“Like I said, shades of grey,” Callum shrugged. “As long as it’s all legit going forward.”

“It will be, I promise.”

“Right, well...let’s do it then!” Callum said with a beaming smile, encircling Ben’s waist with his arms and pulling him into a lingering kiss. 

“Get a room!” 

Ben’s eardrum had healed sufficiently by now for him to make out some muffled sounds and he broke off the kiss ready to give a mouthful to whoever the female voice belonged to. He and Callum turned to see Frankie standing in front of them, but before Ben could speak, Callum smiled happily at her and said “Even better, we’re getting a flat.”

“Nice one,” Frankie smiled at them, giving a thumbs up. “Make sure you invite me to the housewarming party,” she added before continuing on her way.

“We'll have to tell Stuart soon as,” Callum said as Frankie walked off. “We'll cook dinner for him and Rainie tonight.”

“’We?’” Ben frowned.

“Okay, I'll cook. You can get the shopping in for it. I'll text you a list later. I really need to go now or I'll be late.”

Callum kissed Ben goodbye and headed off towards the tube station, while Ben grinned from ear to ear as he texted Steve to arrange to pick up the keys.

“I said chicken breasts, not thighs,” Callum grumbled as he unpacked the shopping that Ben had bought.

“It’s all they had in the Minute Mart,” Ben said with a shrug. “Anyway, nothing wrong with a nice bit of thigh,” he smirked, sliding his hand up Callum’s leg. 

“Stop it,” Callum said, rolling his eyes as he batted Ben’s hand away. 

Before the conversation could go any further, the sound of footsteps came up the stairs and Stuart and Rainie entered the flat.

“Dinner is served!” Stuart exclaimed loudly, holding up a bag from the chippy.

“Oh, I was gonna cook,” Callum said.

“No need,” Rainie smiled as she took four plates from the rack and gestured for Callum and Ben to sit down.

“I suppose this’ll keep until tomorrow,” Callum said, placing the chicken in the fridge before taking a seat next to Ben at the table.

“So, what’s all this in aid of?” Ben asked suspiciously as the four of them tucked into their food.

“No reason,” Stuart said loudly. “Just thought I’d treat my little brother and...oww!!” he exclaimed suddenly as Rainie kicked his leg under the table.

“You alright, Stu?” Callum asked.

“Yeah, yeah, it’s all good bruv,” Stuart smiled before nervously clearing his throat. “Well, actually, there was something...”

“What?” Callum asked, as he and Ben exchanged a puzzled look.

“Well, the thing is...I, well, me and Rainie, we were thinking...erm... what with us getting married...I...I’d like you to be my best man,” Stuart finally blurted out. 

“Of course I will!” Callum smiled delightedly. Rainie opened her mouth to speak but closed it again as Callum and Stuart got up and hugged each other while Ben looked on with a smile, happy to see his man happy.

“We'll have to sit down and talk stag do plans,” Stuart said to Callum once they’d sat back down. “You’re invited too, of course,” he said, pointing at Ben.

“What?” 

“My stag do,” Stuart said loudly and slowly, putting his hands up to the side of his head and splaying his fingers out to indicate antlers. 

“Your stag do? Um...yeah, I think I’m busy that night.” Ben said drily. “But I can cancel if it means I get to lock _you_ in a car boot this time.”

“Ben...” Callum said wearily, shooting his boyfriend a warning look.

“Just saying...” Ben mumbled, turning his attention back to his food.

“So, what about you, Rainie? Any plans for your hen night?” Callum asked in an attempt to change the subject.

“I haven’t really thought about it yet,” Rainie said. “But you two could help me out.”

“Us? How?” Callum frowned.

“Well, alright, maybe not you. But Ben must know where I can find a reasonably priced male stripper.” 

Rainie waved her hand in Ben’s direction to get his attention.

“What?” Ben asked, looking up from his food.

“You know any male strippers?” Rainie asked, pretending to rip open her top. “For my hen do?” 

“Male strippers?” Ben smirked. “Well, I’m definitely coming to your hen do.”

“Oi! I’m right here, y'know,” Callum said indignantly, giving Ben a playful shove. 

“Oh, sorry babe. I didn’t think,” Ben said apologetically, squeezing Callum’s thigh under the table. “You don’t need a professional, Rainie. Callum’ll do it. He’ll have the proper uniform by then and we could do with the extra cash.”

“Ben!!” Callum spluttered, his face turning red. 

“Aw, you know I’m only joking,” Ben smiled. “As if I’m gonna let a gaggle of drunken women, or anyone else for that matter, cop an eyeful of my man.” 

Ben leaned over and planted a possessive kiss on Callum’s lips.

“Pass the sick bucket,” Rainie said rolling her eyes before nudging Stuart and giving him a meaningful look.

“Er...yeah...actually, guys,” Stuart began as Ben and Callum broke off their kiss. “There was something else we need to talk about.”

Callum and Ben shared a puzzled look with each other before turning to face Stuart.

“So, yeah, me and Rainie are getting married and baby Abi will be staying over a lot more and...well, you’ve seen how big she’s getting and...er...I mean, this flat's not exactly Buckingham palace, is it? It’s a bit of squeeze, innit, the four of us plus a growing toddler...”

“Are you asking us to move out?” Callum frowned, raising his eyebrow as he glanced at Ben.

“Well...not straight away,” Stuart mumbled awkwardly. “But like I said, it’s not really practical...”

“What’s this? You’re kicking us out?” Ben asked, outraged. “Does Pam and Les know about this?”

“Ben...” Callum said, placing his hand on Ben’s arm. 

“No, Callum, they can’t just throw us out!”

“Well, technically you don’t even officially live here,” Rainie pointed out to Ben.

“Well, _technically_ , neither do you,” Ben retorted. “It’s Callum’s name on the tenancy, so if anyone should be leaving, it’s you two.”

“Callum doesn’t work at the parlour anymore, though,” Stuart tried to reason.

“That’s not the point, Stu,” Callum said, staring down at his hands. “Me and Ben have got rights, y'know.”

“Yeah, we’ve got rights. If you want us out, you’ll need to give us compensation. A couple of grand should cover it,” Ben said in a calm, businesslike manner.

“What?! Are you off your head?!” Rainie said.

“Two grand?!” Stuart exclaimed. “We haven’t got that sort of money.” 

“Well, I guess we’re staying put then,” Callum said, folding his arms across his chest, biting his lip and avoiding eye contact with Ben. 

“Yeah, you tell ‘em, babe,” Ben said sternly, mirroring Callum’s actions and folding his arms across his chest. 

“Look, guys, let’s try and be reasonable about this...” Stuart began but before he could continue Ben and Callum turned to look at each other and burst into a hysterical fit of laughter. 

“What’s so funny?” Stuart asked, bewildered. 

“They’re winding us up,” Rainie said, rolling her eyes. “Right pair of comedians, ain’t you?”

“I’m sorry, Stu,” Callum said, wiping a tear of laughter from his face. “But it’s fine. Me and Ben are moving out anyway.”

“What? You never said.”

“We were going to tell you tonight, that’s why I was gonna cook.”

“So where are you moving to?” Stuart asked with a note of concern in his voice.

“Flat on George Street,” Ben replied. “So not too far for you to carry our stuff. I mean, I take it you'll be helping us move, seeing as you’re so keen to get rid of us.”

“Of course I'll help,” Stuart nodded enthusiastically. “This is great news. I’m really happy for you both.”

“Thanks,” Ben said, with a warm genuine smile.

“This calls for a toast,” Stuart said. “To the Highway brothers and our significant others!” 

“Hey, that rhymes,” Stuart added with a proud smile after the four of them had repeated the toast. 

“Full of hidden talents, ain’t you, Mr Grizzly Bear?” Rainie grinned and leaned over to kiss Stuart.

“Ugh,” Callum grimaced, covering his eyes. 

“Can you two please stop traumatising my boyfriend? And me for that matter,” Ben said disapprovingly, but there was a twinkle in his eye and all four of them laughed good-naturedly as they continued to eat their meal. 

~

“That’s the last one,” Stuart said as he walked into Ben and Callum’s new flat carrying a large cardboard box. “Where do you want it?” 

“Anywhere,” Callum shrugged, waving his arm in the general direction of the living room area. “Cheers, Stu.”

The move had gone quickly and smoothly, neither Ben or Callum having much in the way of material possessions. Ben had borrowed a van from the car lot and they had packed everything inside it to make the short drive from the funeral parlour to the new flat. Callum and Stuart had then brought the boxes and cases up to the flat whilst Ben sat on the sofa, comparing tv models and prices on his phone. 

Stuart placed the box down on the floor by the sofa, causing Ben to look up from his phone.

“Oh, sorry, do you need a hand?” Ben asked, getting to his feet and placing his phone back in his pocket.

“Bit late now, innit?” Callum rolled his eyes at Ben. “Me and Stuart have done all the heavy lifting.”

“Oh right, cheers mate,” Ben said with an appreciative nod towards Stuart.

“Yeah, thanks for helping out, Stu,” Callum smiled at his brother.

“No problem,” Stuart said warmly. “Oh, by the way, I got you a housewarming present.”  
Stuart reached into his jacket and pulled out a small door bolt. 

“For your bedroom,” he said by way of explanation, pointing at the bedroom door for Ben’s benefit. “Stop anyone walking in when you’re...y'know.”

“Well, no one’s gonna be walking in on us here, are they?” Callum said. “That’s the whole point of us moving in together.”

“What about Lexi, when she stays over?” 

“I never thought I’d say this,” Ben said. “But your brother’s got a point. Cheers, Stuart.” 

“You’re welcome,” Stuart smiled at them both. “Anyway, I'll leave you to unpack.”

Before he could make a move, the buzzer rang through the flat. One of the reasons Ben and Callum had been so keen on the flat was that the entry phone was a camera one, and they’d positioned the sofa so it was facing the buzzer and Ben could see the screen light up when it rang. 

“It’s my mum and Bobby,” Ben said to Callum as he buzzed them into the flat. A few moments later, Kathy walked into the flat holding a large bunch of flowers and a card, followed by Bobby carrying two bulging shopping bags. 

“Just came to see how the lovebirds are settling into their nest,” Kathy smiled, handing the flowers to Callum and kissing his cheek before doing the same to Ben.

“They’re lovely, Kathy. Thank you,” Callum smiled. 

“I'll put them in water for you,” Stuart said enthusiastically, taking the flowers from Callum’s hand. “Have you got a vase?” he asked, making a circle with his hand and sliding the flowers into it.

Callum and Ben shared a blank look with each other.

“A vase? No, I don’t think so.” 

“I'll go get you one from the parlour,” Stuart said. “I'll get a screwdriver while I’m at it and put that lock on for you as well.”

Stuart placed the flowers on the kitchen counter and rushed out of the flat. Kathy meanwhile began unpacking the shopping bags. 

“Just got you a few supplies, until you get a chance to go shopping.”

“Oh, you didn’t need to do that,” Callum said.

“It’s no bother,” Kathy smiled. “I know how much this one likes his food,” she added with an affectionate look at Ben.

“No, really Mum, you didn’t need to do that. We've got an online delivery booked for this afternoon. Thank you, though.” Ben smiled and pulled Kathy into a hug, then looked up to see Ian and Peter walking through the door. 

“Stuart let us in,” Ian said by way of explanation.

“Ian!” Ben greeted his brother. “Welcome to Casa Mitchell Highway.”

“Er...Highway Mitchell, if you don’t mind,” Callum corrected Ben before Ian could speak. 

“Oh, you wanna come first, do ya?” Ben smirked teasingly.

“Well, it just makes sense. It’s alphabetical, innit?” Callum said blushing.

“Whatever you say, babe,” Ben smiled indulgently at his boyfriend and planted a soft kiss on his lips.

“Oh, save it til later, you two,” Ian said, rolling his eyes.

“Oh, don’t be such a grump, Ian,” Kathy scolded him. “You remember what it’s like to be young and in love, don’t you?”

“Yeah, and where did it ever get me?” Ian said sarcastically. “Good luck to you both, you’re gonna need it.”

“Er...thanks?” Callum said awkwardly.

“Did you just come round to be a mood hoover, Ian, or...?” Ben asked impatiently.

“No, actually, I came to give you a housewarming present.”  
Ian proudly handed Ben a box containing an electric whisk.

“Oh, Dad, really?” Bobby cringed and held his head in his hands.

“What? It’s not hooky, is it?” Ben asked, glancing at Callum.

“No, of course not,” Ian replied, offended. “I’m a respected councillor, you know.”

“So what...?”

“It’s from the restaurant,” Ian explained. “I asked Habiba to order one but the dozy mare ordered ten by mistake and the jobsworth delivery driver refused to take them back. I’m going to have to flog them online to get my money back, but you can have this one for free.”

“Thanks, Ian. That’s very generous of you,” Callum smiled politely and put the whisk in one of the kitchen cupboards.

“It is actually,” Kathy said, with a disapproving look at Ian. “He offered me one for the caff, said he'd let me have it for a tenner.”

“They’re worth 25 quid each!” Ian exclaimed defensively. 

“Anyway,” Peter intervened to change the subject. “Have you finished with the van, Ben? Only I’ve got someone coming to look at it this afternoon.”

“Yeah, we’re done with it. I’ve still got a few things to pick up from my dad’s, but it’ll fit in a suitcase,” Ben said, handing the van keys to Peter. 

“Cheers,” Peter said, pocketing the keys. “I'll be off then. Oh, by the way, when's the housewarming party?”

“We haven’t had a chance to talk about that,” Callum said, looking at Ben. “How about next Saturday?”

“We ain’t having a housewarming party.” Ben said firmly. 

“What? I thought...” a look of disappointment flashed across Callum’s face for a moment before he fell silent, chastising himself for not thinking that the last thing Ben needed was a noisy party. 

“Sorry, I...” Callum began but Ben talked over him.

“I’m not having a load of people in here, making noise, getting drunk, puking all over the carpet and knocking the tv over.”

“Er...you haven’t got a tv?” Stuart, who had returned to the flat with a screwdriver and a vase and was now standing at the kitchen counter arranging the flowers, pointed out. 

“It’s coming the day after tomorrow,” Ben said. 

“So have the party tomorrow then,” Peter suggested. “That way it'll be over before your tv even gets here.”

“Nah, Ben’s right,” Callum said, rubbing his hand over Ben’s back to let him know he understood. “It’s not a good idea.”

“No, actually, let’s do it.” Ben appeared to have a change of heart. 

“You sure?” Callum frowned. “We don’t have to.”

“No, I want to. If us moving in together ain’t worth celebrating, then what is?” 

“Well, if you’re absolutely sure...”

“I am. But friends and family only, no randoms. And if anyone throws up on the carpet, you’re cleaning it up.”

“Deal,” Callum smiled and kissed Ben’s cheek. 

Ben walked through the front door of the Mitchell house, closely followed by Callum. Lola greeted them both from the kitchen.

“Hey! How’s the move going?”

“Yeah, good; we’re pretty much done,” Callum said.

“We’ve just come to get the last of my stuff from here,” Ben explained. He put one foot on the stairs but before he could go any further, Phil appeared in the living room doorway.

“What’s this about a move?” Phil asked gruffly. 

“Dad?” Ben’s voice faltered slightly and he took a step back towards Callum. “I didn’t know you were back.”

“Why would you? Now, what’s this about you moving?”

“Me and Callum, we’re moving in together, we're renting a flat in George street.”

“Oh...” Phil glanced suspiciously at Callum. “Bit sudden, innit? What’s brought this on?”

“We just need our own space,” Ben said. Callum moved closer to Ben stroking his back to let him know he was there.

“Well, it’s your life,” Phil shrugged. 

“We’re having a housewarming party tomorrow night,” Callum said to Phil. “You’re more than welcome to...”

“It’s not really my thing,” Phil said dismissively, causing Callum to let out a silent sigh of relief. Phil was the last person he wanted at their housewarming but he’d felt he should make some attempt at offering an olive branch, for Ben’s sake if nothing else.

“By the way, I’ve got a date for my operation,” Ben told Phil. “Two weeks tomorrow.”

“That’s great,” Phil nodded approvingly. “Let me know if you need a lift to the hospital.”

“Yeah, at the hospital,” Ben said, not having fully understood what Phil had said.

“I said, I'll give you a lift, to the hospital, if you want.” Phil repeated.

“Oh,” Ben smiled. “Thanks. I’ll let you know.”

“We should get on,” Callum said, giving Ben's shoulder a gentle nudge. “We don’t want to miss that food delivery.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” Ben nodded. He and Callum made their way up the stairs to Ben’s room while Phil retreated to the living room.

Ben quickly threw his clothes and other belongings into a suitcase and carried it down the stairs. Phil had moved from the living room to the kitchen and was sitting at the table with his back to the hallway. 

“Oh, I almost forgot,” Ben said suddenly before disappearing into the living room and emerging a moment later holding up his Hannah Montana dvd. 

“We might get a chance to watch it to the end now,” he said, grinning at Callum.

“Can’t wait,” Callum replied drily. 

Ben shook his head fondly at Callum and walked into the kitchen.

“Dad? We've got everything so we'll be off now.” Ben said hesitantly.

“Wait,” Phil said, getting to his feet. “Ben, can I have a word?”

“Sure.”

Ben looked expectantly at Phil but the latter remained silent, giving a sideways glance in Callum’s direction. Callum took the hint and reached out for the handle of the suitcase.

“I'll take this back to flat,” he said to Ben. “See you over there.”

“No.” Ben grabbed Callum’s arm before turning to face Phil.

“Anything you’ve got to say to me, you can say in front of Callum.” 

Callum’s eyes widened slightly and he squeezed Ben’s hand. 

Phil let out a heavy sigh. He glanced at Callum again then turned to look at Ben.

“Just remember,” Phil said, giving Ben an awkward pat on his upper arm. “You'll always be my boy.”

Ben nodded and smiled at his father, his conditioning still too deeply ingrained to resist clinging on to the tiniest crumb of affection. Callum thought Phil’s words sounded more like a threat than a reassurance but he remained silent as Ben stepped forward and hugged his dad. Phil looked at Callum over Ben’s shoulder, his eyes cold and foreboding, but Callum defiantly returned his stare, his fingers lingering on Ben’s back, until Phil averted his gaze. Ben pulled away from the hug and Callum put his arm protectively around Ben’s shoulder as they walked out of the Mitchell house and back towards their new flat.


	8. Chapter 8

“You alright?” Callum mouthed at Ben, stroking the back of his head as he reached into the fridge. 

The party had been in full swing for a couple of hours now but Ben and Callum had barely had a chance to spend a moment of it together. News of the party had spread around the square and the small gathering of family and friends had expanded to include various other residents and some of the market traders, making it a busier and noisier affair than either of them had anticipated. 

“I’m fine,” Ben smiled as he handed Callum a beer. “Never been happier.” 

Ben wrapped his arms around Callum’s neck and leaned back against the fridge, lifting his head to seek Callum’s lips in a playful, slightly tipsy kiss, oblivious to all around them. Callum felt a tap on his shoulder and reluctantly broke off the kiss. He turned around to see Jay standing behind him. 

“Oi! Pack it in, you two. We’re dying of thirst over there,” Jay pointed to the sofa, where Lola, Peter and Bobby were sitting. 

“Oh, I’m so sorry, bruv,” Ben said sarcastically. “Forgive me for kissing my boyfriend in our own home.”

Ben winked at Callum as they shared a complicit smile, still overcome by giddiness at the thought that they now had a place they could call _their_ home, and theirs alone. 

“Aw, I’m only messing,” Jay smiled at them. “I’m really happy for you both. Come here.” 

Jay opened his arms, pulling both Ben and Callum towards him, and the three of them stood there huddled together in a clumsy but warm and heartfelt hug. 

“So can I get those drinks now?” Jay said when they pulled apart. 

“Help yourself, bruv.” 

Jay reached into the fridge and took out three bottles of beer and a can of Coke for Bobby. He turned around to see Lola approaching and he held out a bottle to her. 

“Not for me, thanks. I’ve gotta go,” Lola said. 

“Is everything alright?” Callum asked with concern.

“Yeah, it’s just Pops,” Lola said, holding up her phone. “Lexi’s staying at his tonight but he’s had to go into work, someone’s gone home sick apparently, so I’ve got to go and mind the kids. So much for a night off,” Lola rolled her eyes.

“I'll come with you,” Jay immediately said.

“No, no, it’s fine. You stay and enjoy yourself. No point both of us having our night ruined.”

“Well, if you’re sure...” Jay said uncertainly.

“I’m sure,” Lola told him, giving him a quick peck on the lips. 

She then turned to Ben and Callum and hugged them goodbye in turn before leaving the flat. 

“That’s a shame,” Callum said as Jay headed back to the sofa with drinks for himself, Bobby and Peter. 

“Yeah,” Ben frowned as he noticed Peter getting up from the sofa and making his way to the door. 

“Where’s he going?” Ben’s voice was heavy with suspicion. He took a step forward but Callum stopped him. 

“Leave it, Ben. It’s probably nothing.”

“Bit of a coincidence though, innit? First Lola leaves then he follows?”

“I don’t know...” Callum sighed. “But if, _if_ , anything’s going on, us getting involved ain’t gonna help. Let’s just enjoy our party and not worry about anyone else, yeah?” 

“Okay,” Ben smiled as Callum pulled him into a kiss, which lasted for barely a second before they were interrupted by Frankie searching for a glass from which to drink the wine she’d brought, and Stuart dragging Callum away to show him a dance move that Shrimpy had taught him. 

“Halfway! Come ‘ere, my son!” Mick's voice boomed across the flat as Mick and Linda walked through the door, carrying a large houseplant in a glittery pink pot.

“Mick,” Callum smiled as he rushed over to greet them. “Mrs C. Thanks for coming. I'll get you a drink.”

“Nah, you’re alright, we can’t stop. We just came over to give you this.” Mick handed the plant to Callum and Linda gave him a card.

“Thank you,” Callum smiled, looking dubiously at the garish pink pot. 

“L chose it,” Mick said apologetically. “I told you you shouldn’t have got pink, didn’t I?” he hissed at Linda. 

“It’s lovely, really,” Callum insisted. “Thank you both.”

“It’s plastic, by the way,” Linda told him. “So you don’t have to worry about watering it.”

“Even better,” Callum grinned. He made a clearing amongst the cans and plates on the table and put the plant down. 

“We'll find somewhere better to put it later,” Callum said. “Are you sure I can’t get you a drink?”

“No, best not. Me mum’s looking after Ollie and we've got a cheeky little curry making its way over to our gaff any minute now.”  
Mick placed his hand on Callum’s shoulder as he continued. “We just want you to know we’re really happy for you, you and Ben. I know it ain’t been easy for you but you’ve come through the other side. I’m proud of ya, son.”

“Oh, thanks Mick,” Callum said, his eyes filling with tears. “That means a lot to me.”

“Oi! No waterworks. This is meant to be a happy occasion. Come ‘ere, ya daft git,” Mick said, pulling Callum into a hug as Linda looked on and smiled tenderly. 

“You’re a good lad,” Linda said, gently pinching Callum cheek. “I hope Ben realises how lucky he is.”

“Aw, thanks Mrs C. But I’m the lucky one,” Callum said, smiling bashfully and glancing around for Ben. 

“Where is he anyway, that fella of yours?” Mick asked. “Ain’t done a runner already, has he?”

“Mick!” Linda slapped her husband’s arm. “Take no notice of him,” she told Callum.

“It’s fine,” Callum said. “He’s probably in the bathroom or something.”

“Well, you tell him we wish you both all the happiness in the world. And if either of you ever need anything, you know where we are.”

“Thank you, Mick. And likewise,” Callum replied, hugging both of them goodbye. 

Once Mick and Linda had left, Callum opened their card and placed it on the shelf alongside the others. He felt suddenly overwhelmed by how much love and support he and Ben had received from those close to them. He looked around for Ben but couldn’t see him anywhere. He assumed he was in the bathroom but when the bathroom door then opened and he saw Habiba coming out of it, he grew concerned. He walked over to the bedroom and put his head round the door to find Ben lying on the bed.

“Ben? You alright?”

“You took your time. Didn’t you get my text?”

“What text?”

Callum pulled his phone out of his pocket and saw a text from Ben.

_“Bedroom. Now.”_

“Is something wrong?” Callum asked with concern. 

“No,” Ben said, getting up off the bed and walking over to Callum. “Apart from the fact I’ve hardly seen you all evening.” 

Ben pushed Calllum up against the door and tugged at his shirt to pull him closer. Their lips instinctively drew together as Callum’s arms went around Ben’s waist. 

“Mmm...that’s better,” Ben murmured, sliding his hands down Callum’s chest and unfastening his belt. 

“Ben! We can’t,” Callum protested. “We’ve got a flat full of people out there.”

“So? Our party, our home, our rules,” Ben said, winking at Callum as he reached behind him to slide closed the bolt that Stuart had fitted the day before. 

Callum opened his mouth but he couldn’t speak. The sight of Ben in front of him, slowly and invitingly licking his lips, rendered him powerless to do anything but give in to the rising surge of desire that burned through him. Callum took a step forward and cupped Ben’s face in his hands, his tongue delving into his mouth, pushing him backwards towards the bed. Suddenly Ben stumbled over one of the cardboard boxes that sat still unpacked on the floor. He let out a yelp of surprise as he lost his footing and landed in a sprawling heap on the bedroom floor.

“Ben! Are you okay?” Callum asked as he crouched down next to Ben and pulled him up into a sitting position.

“I’m fine. I’m sure it won’t be the last time I’m flat on my back on this bedroom floor,” Ben laughed as he got to his feet while Callum picked up the box that had fallen onto its side. Ben noticed the lid of the box lying across the floor. He picked it up and handed it to Callum but Callum didn’t react. 

“Babe? You alright?” Ben sat down on the floor next to Callum, who was staring absent-mindedly at the box. Ben glanced inside and saw a black army beret sitting atop a pile of letters. He noticed the name tag sewn into the beret and put his arm around Callum’s shoulder. 

“Is that the guy you told me about?” Ben asked softly. 

Several months ago, back in the early days of them becoming a proper couple, when their weekends had been spent in bed, alternating between making love and talking about every subject under the sun, Callum had confided in Ben about Chris. Ben hadn’t been shocked to hear that Callum had had feelings for another man before him but he’d been deeply moved by the fact that Callum had felt able to confide in him, and as he listened and comforted him, he’d felt the bond between them become even stronger. Ben knew all too well the gutwrenching pain of losing the man you loved; but to have lost him, as Callum had, without ever having fully and openly expressed that love was incomprehensible to Ben. As painful as his memories of Paul were, at least they'd had the chance to make those memories. Ben had held Callum tightly as he spoke about Chris, and for a long while after, until both of them had fallen asleep, and the subject hadn’t been mentioned since. 

Callum nodded silently as he took the cardboard box lid from Ben’s hand.

“You...you don’t mind about me keeping his stuff, do you?”

“Of course not,” Ben said softly. 

“You know it doesn’t mean...”

“It’s okay. I get it,” Ben said, his voice low and soothing. “He’d be proud of you, y'know,” he added.

Callum remained silent and Ben screwed up his face in annoyance at himself.

“I’m sorry...I never knew him...I shouldn’t have said that.”

“Don’t be sorry,” Callum said as he placed the lid back on top of the box then took Ben’s hand and turned to face him.

“If there is anything about me to proud of, it’s all because of you.”

“No, I...” Ben shrugged bashfully and lowered his head but Callum tilted Ben's chin up to look into his eyes.

“I love you so much,” Callum whispered, stroking Ben’s face with his hand before leaning in to kiss him. 

Ben moaned into Callum’s mouth, leaning back until he was lying on the floor, pulling Callum down with him. Their kisses grew more passionate and demanding, their hands tearing at each other’s clothes as they rolled around on the floor. Somehow they made it onto the bed, naked and desperate for each other, their bodies instinctively entwining together. The only light in the room came from the small bedside lamp, casting a soft warm glow around them. The music and laughter from the party filtered through the walls but to Callum it felt like it came from a million miles away, as if he and Ben were floating in a bubble, where nothing could touch them because nothing else mattered or even existed in that moment. Nothing but him and Ben and this feeling; this magic; this unbreakable, irresistible magnetic force that drew them together and made them one. 

When Ben and Callum finally emerged from the bedroom, they found the party had all but finished without them. The music was turned down low and the flat was empty apart from Bobby and Iqra sitting at the table having a conversation over the plant in its bright pink pot; and Frankie and Jay, the former sat in the armchair, the latter perched on the arm of said chair, both of them laughing at Jay’s attempts to master sign language. 

“Where is everyone?” Callum frowned.

“The Vic, the Albert, E20?” Jay replied. “You ran out of booze.”

“Luckily I had a secret stash in my bag,” Frankie grinned, holding up a now almost empty bottle of wine. 

“That’s another advantage of being Muslim,” Bobby piped up. “No alcohol, no problem.”

“Past your bedtime, innit, Bobby?” Ben smiled, patting his nephew on the shoulder.

“I’m not a kid,” Bobby replied petulantly. 

“Still, we should go,” Iqra said, getting to her feet. “Great party, by the way,” she smiled at Ben and Callum as she and Bobby headed for the door. 

“So where did you two disappear to?” Jay asked Ben and Callum once Iqra and Bobby had left. 

“Look at the state of them,” Frankie said, taking in Ben and Callum’s messed up hair, dishevelled clothes and blissed out demeanour. “Pretty obvious, no?”

“Ugh, yeah, on second thoughts don’t answer that,” Jay said quickly.

Before the conversation could continue, a loud snoring sound came from the sofa. 

“What was that?” Callum frowned, the position of the sofa meaning he and Ben could only see the back of it from where they were standing. Callum walked over to the sofa and saw Stuart and Rainie cuddled up together fast asleep. 

“Seriously?” Callum laughed, beckoning Ben over to have a look.

“Have we got a marker pen anywhere?” Ben asked with a mischievous grin. 

“I don’t think so,” Callum said.

“Shame,” Ben sighed before reaching out and shaking Stuart by his shoulders.

“Oi! Shrek and Fiona! Wakey, wakey! Time to go home.”

Stuart awoke with a start, sitting up suddenly and almost knocking Rainie off the sofa in the process.

“What?” Stuart and Rainie looked around the flat then at each other as they rubbed their eyes. 

“We must have fallen asleep,” Stuart said.

“Nothing gets past you does it, Stu?” Callum rolled his eyes fondly at his brother.

“Great party though,” Stuart said, giving Callum and Ben a thumbs up. 

“Yeah, so great we fell asleep,” Rainie said sarcastically.

“Not our fault if you oldies can’t handle the pace.” Ben batted back Rainie’s sarcasm with a dose of his own. 

Rainie screwed up her face at Ben and put her arm around Stuart’s waist.

“Come on, you big grizzly bear. Let’s go home to our lovely, peaceful, empty flat.”

Once Stuart and Rainie had left, Callum took a bin bag from under the kitchen sink and set about filling it with the empty cans that lay scattered around the flat. Ben stretched out on the sofa, staring contentedly up at the ceiling, until Callum gave him a shove and dropped an empty bin bag on his lap.

“Come on, you. I ain’t clearing all this up by myself.”

“Just leave it til the morning,” Ben said. 

“I can’t, I’ve got training tomorrow.”

“Okay, fine,” Ben sighed reaching out to pick an empty wine bottle off the floor and dropping it into Callum’s bag.

“No, Ben,” Calllum tutted. “That’s glass. This is for cans.”

“What does it matter? As long as it goes in the right bin...”

“Well, it’s just easier to separate them now.”

Frankie and Jay looked at each other and laughed.

“What’s so funny?” Ben asked, glaring at them both.

“You two,” Jay said, smiling affectionately. “You’ve only been living together a couple of days and you sound like an old married couple already.”

“You’re just jealous, bruv,” Ben said. “What are you both still doing here anyway?”

“Frankie’s been teaching me sign language,” Jay said, and proceeded to demonstrate by signing the words _“good party"._

“I’m impressed,” Callum said, giving Jay a thumbs up.

“She’s a good teacher,” Jay said, smiling at Frankie.

“I’d better go before I miss the last tube,” Frankie said, getting up from the chair. 

“I'll walk you to the station if you like,” Jay offered.

“Okay,” Frankie smiled. “Fun party, guys. Thanks for inviting me,” she said to Ben and Callum. 

“Thanks for coming,” Callum replied in sign language. 

Ben and Callum each hugged Jay and Frankie goodbye before seeing them out. The sound of them laughing together could be heard as Callum closed the door.

“You don’t think...?” he asked Ben.

“What? Them two?” 

Ben and Callum looked at each then shook their heads.  
“Nah,” they said in unison and turned around to face the mess in the flat. 

Callum carried a pile of plates over to the sink then walked over to Ben who was shaking crisp crumbs off the sofa cushions. 

“Time for a break, gorgeous,” he said, handing Ben a bottle of beer.

“I thought we were out of booze?” Ben asked, taking a drink from the bottle as he took a seat on the sofa.

“I had a secret stash in the back of the vegetable drawer,” Callum grinned, sitting down next to Ben.

“I knew there was a reason I wanted to move in with you,” Ben said, planting a kiss on Callum’s mouth and snuggling up against him.

Callum smiled and ruffled Ben’s hair before lifting his chin to talk to him.

“Thank you,” he said softly.

“What for?” Ben asked, puzzled. 

“For tonight, the party. I know you didn’t want to have one and you only went along with it for me.”

“It’s no big deal. Whatever makes you happy. It turned out to be a good night in the end.”

“Yeah, it was, wasn’t it?” Callum smiled contentedly. “I could do without having to clean up this mess though,” he added with a sigh.

“Let's just leave it and go to bed, then. I'll do it tomorrow while you’re at training.”

“You not working tomorrow?”

“No, I’ve got to wait in for the tv delivery. I'll have it all set up for when you get back so I can thrash you at that car racing game.”

“Oh really? You wanna bet?” 

“If you like. Loser does the washing up for a week?”

“You’re on,” Callum said determinedly. “You'd better get yourself a nice pair of rubber gloves.”

“Are we still talking washing up or is this yet another weird fetish?” Ben smirked.

“Shut up,” Callum laughed, giving Ben a playful slap on the arm before pulling him close and holding him in a tight hug.

“You know what? I reckon we’re gonna be really happy here,” Callum said, smiling lovingly at Ben as they pulled apart.

“I'll be happy anywhere that you are,” Ben replied, his eyes shining as he gazed adoringly at Callum.  


_“I love you.”_ Ben signed.

 _“I love you.”_ Callum signed back. 

THE END


End file.
